In April of 2005 I married a wonderful returned missionary in the Temple. We had a good Mormon marriage and did all the things we were supposed to. We were faithful and obedient.
In January of 2007 he told me about how he had started looking into the origins of the church. He had started reading the history and because of many accounts and facts which were never taught to us, was starting to have doubts. I was horrified because anyone that really truly understands LDS doctrine knows that if your spouse doesn't live the standards, you can't be with them forever. There is some clause about possibly keeping them regardless but it is a gamble for the eternities; you can't drag someone to "heaven."
By April of that year it became abundantly clear to me that my husband had lost his belief in the LDS faith. I started talking to my bishop about what to do with the situation. I started asking questions myself and got his parents involved and also made the situation known to my family.
Everyone hoped for the best; we all wanted to keep hoping that my husband would see the error of his questioning ways and pray "for real," after which he would of course get his testimony back. He did pray for real, he did give it a real shot, and nothing. He was sincere, and I couldn't understand why he was not getting the answer he was supposed to. I was shocked and by then was having panic attacks regularly because this man was in essence, immediately or at some point in time before the eternities, going to destroy my marriage and my eternity with him.
It was horrible and I wouldn't want anybody to go through what I did — a true nightmare.
My stake president told me that likely my husband was hooked on porn which made my situation undesirable and inhospitable for future babies. But he didn't say the words "leave him".
My bishop also had concerns about possible porn addiction (not at all the issue) and that there was possibly likely any number of issues as well as porn addiction. Heaven forbid that Joe was actually reading the history of the church and was actually having doubts for legitimate reasons. I told him that I had decided to leave, and in a blessing he told me that I had made the right decision. But he didn't say the words "leave him".
My parent's bishop told them to bring their daughter home, to get her out of there. Their stake president also didn't say to have her "leave him" but you get the idea.
To finish reading Eva's exit story, please visit the link below: