[Jim is the author of "The Mormon Delusion" Vol. 1-4]
I was a teenage atheist converted to the Mormon Church in 1960 at age fourteen along with my mother. My father had left us a few years earlier. After serving a mission, I married and was sealed in the London England Temple to my first wife Jan, who was to die from the effects of breast cancer in 2001. We dutifully had eleven children, eight of whom are now living and six of whom, along with their spouses and over twenty grandchildren remain active members of the Church. Two children found their way out of the Church during their late teens. After forty-three years of clinging to my faith, despite doing all I could to try and make the Church remain true in my heart and mind during my final year of membership, I finally resigned from the Church in March of 2003, for no other reason than I could no longer hold to a belief in God.
My decision had absolutely nothing to do with my wife's death, nor was it connected to any attitude, doctrine or principle regarding the Church. It was purely my personal inability to continue to accept that a God actually existed; something I had inwardly struggled with for many years. Therefore the Church simply could not remain true for me. This was of course a quite unusual reason for exit from the Church but I resigned for the sake of personal integrity; no more -- no less. I considered it to be my problem and mine alone. It was not something that I wanted and it was devastating to face and deal with, but I had to remain true to my conscience. In Mormon theology, that is exactly what we will be judged on and I felt obliged to follow it. During the next three years I remarried and just tried to get on with my life. I simply left the Church, and unfortunately, as it transpired, some of my family and most of my friends, behind.
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