I don't want to lose my family and I'm an Ex Mormon.





New Order Mormon: Someone who maintains cultural ties to Mormonism while not accepting some or all of its core tenets.

I am a 6th generation member of the LDS church. My family was always active in the church and I was taught to believe in the reality of the restoration of the Gospel through the Prophet Joseph Smith. I served a mission for the church completely convinced that the church was "true". I knew that I was helping to build the kingdom of God on earth and bring people into it.

Over the years I had encountered confusing and problematic things about the church that I did not have an answer for. Instead of pausing and examining those problems, I did what good Mormons do and put those issues and problems on the shelf in the back of my mind and ignored them.

A few years ago I came across some information in some old church books written in the 1950's by Joseph Fielding Smith. He talked about how lesser spirits were cursed of God and punished with black skin, the fraud of evolution, and the need to accept Joseph Smith in order to be saved (among other things). I saw these teachings of a modern day prophet as demonstrably false and evil. This had the effect of crashing the shelf in the back of my mind. I had to make sense of these problems and get rid of the nagging doubts that were plaguing me.

I started my search for answers with the desire to be a defender of the Church, to validate my faith and find the solutions to the problems that I was encountering. However, as my research progressed, I had to acknowledge that I did not know as much as I thought I did, and that this new information I had encountered was more accurate than I originally thought. My excuses felt less and less valid, I was stretching for a way to make the pieces fit. I needed to find the honest solutions that I was sure existed. However, the more I searched, the more elusive these desired answers became. After 8 months of heart breaking research, I was forced to conclude that the claims of the church were not true and neither was the church. It was my preconceived beliefs that had been in error.

To finish reading his story, please click on the link below:

Views: 228

Comment by Pascale Dauphinais on April 23, 2011 at 10:56am

OH MY, OH MY, OH MY: WHAT YOU SAID CAME TO GET ME IN THE GUTS AND YOU SAID WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING BUT CANNOT PUT WORDS TO AS IT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW WITH ME! I am very much in the process of leaving and have not attended in about 10 weeks now and I am being shunned by many simply because my son was abused at church by a member and because this member is my estranged mom the Bishop decided it was okay simply because she is my mom and he considers her and my son and I (am 41 years old and my son is almost 5) as a family and says she has every right to whatever kind of relationship with us as she pleases and I refuse that. I am being shunned by the missionaries especially because since I sent a letter to Salt Lake describing the ward (its a snakepit that place!) and the situation I am in the mission president has ordered them to shunn me. Anyway, to keep it short: I am sick of the crap going on, I know see how restrained and neglected and frustrated members feel after a while and I want out!

  Thank you for what you said. At least now I see that I am not alone.

Comment by livewell on April 23, 2011 at 2:29pm

Anyone who SPEAKS OUT is my hero; it takes guts and clarity to do so.

The more confident you are in your own truth, the less it matters whether or not anyone agrees with you.  -- Alan Cohen

"He who dares not offend cannot be honest." ~ Thomas Paine

The idea that there is one people in possession of the truth, one answer to the world's ills or one solution to humanity's needs has done untold harm throughout history."  Secretary-General Kofi Annan, from his speech as he accepted the 2001 Nobel Peace Prize

Comment by Don on April 23, 2011 at 4:07pm

I would like to thank Thomas S. Monson for this sharing in front of the light.  ...the same light that appreard to JS!



Comment by Don on April 23, 2011 at 4:10pm

Have you contacted the Police department?



Comment by livewell on April 23, 2011 at 6:28pm
"A fully-open society is our best chance for survival."  Speaking your truth is no longer an option.


You need to be a member of Life After Mormonism (exmormon) to add comments!

Join Life After Mormonism (exmormon)

Our Stories

Follow us on
Facebook & Twitter

Videos |Stories |Chat |Books |Store |Forum
Your Donations are appreciated
and help to promote and fund LAM.
Make a Donation

Privacy Tip: Setting your profile/My-Page visibility to "Members Only" will make your status updates visible to members only.

Community Links



  • Add Videos
  • View All

We are an online social community of former mormons, ex-mormons, ex-LDS and sympathizers. Stay C.A.L.M. - Community After Leaving Mormonism

© 2017   Created by MikeUtah.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service