Uploaded by iamanexmormon on Mar 22, 2011
I always thought I would be a member of the LDS church for my whole life. I believed it was the only true church on the face of the earth and I never thought anything would change my mind. My journey out of the church began when I started researching the deeper meaning of the temple. We had a new temple built in our city and I didn't attend as often as the leaders had encouraged us to, so I figured if I understood the deeper meaning of the ceremonies, that I would be more motivated to attend.
As I searched, I was surprised to discover that there really wasn't much information available for me to read. I thought that was strange since this was the pinnacle of our religion. I asked a few LDS friends if they knew where I could find more information and I was introduced to the FARMS and FAIR websites, where of course I found even more questions that I hadn't even considered asking. I was disturbed by the things I was finding but I was sure that if I kept researching, that I would find answers that would confirm that the LDS church was true. This began a three year long deep study of the history and doctrine of the LDS church.
I discovered some horrifically racist comments made by the prophets of the LDS church. The one that struck me as the most ungodlike was by John Taylor, who was President and Prophet of the Church at the time that he published this statement. He said:
"And after the flood we are told that the curse [of dark skin] that had been pronounced upon Cain was continued through Ham's wife, as he had married a wife of that seed. And why did it pass through the flood? Because it was necessary that the devil should have a representation upon the earth as well as God;..." From: "DUTIES OF THE SAINTS-THE ATONEMENT, ETC" AUGUST 28TH, 1881, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 22, page 304. [my emphasis]. This is the church's own publication, this is not anti-Mormon literature.
Don't forget that the Journal of Discourses was like conference talks in the Ensign these days. Talks by the prophet and his counselors were written down and distributed to the members, even sent out to the members in England. Older LDS lesson manuals quote from the Journal of Discourses many times, it cannot be dismissed as not a valid LDS source. The LDS doctrine teaches that the prophet is the mouthpiece of God. Therefore I had to believe God actually told John Taylor to share these disgustingly racist words with the world.
I thought "This means either God is a racist, or the prophets were wrong." I couldn't believe that God was a racist in any way, so this left me with the conclusion that the prophets were certainly NOT speaking for God, they were wrong, a thought that is nearly impossible for an LDS member to fathom.
Visit the link below to continue reading Kerri's story: