My name is Ana and I left the church about a year and a half ago. A consequence of this is that I also left my soon-to-be ex and my children. I'm really just looking for someone who's been there,is there,and can help with some advice. I should say I'm not a mormon hater, it's just not right for me...

Views: 70

Comment by Ana on October 3, 2010 at 11:11am
you guys are so amazing for answering me.I'll post alittle more for those of you interested. Patricia, I'll get back with you for sure.
Thank you.
Comment by Don on October 3, 2010 at 12:11pm
You will have some great relationships here then. I am not a Mormon hater either, but I do not feel any compunction to back down from what I now know of them.

If someone comes to my door with fresh baked bread from the Relief Society, ...I take it, say thanks and give them an AC DC cd and a copy of the 1962 St. Josephs Missal. Then I tell them to pray till they know its true.

Don in Vegas
Comment by LITH on October 3, 2010 at 1:31pm
hey Ana,
I live in Vancouver, Washington. Are you any where near me? Let's go for coffee....
Jenny
Comment by Peach on October 3, 2010 at 2:28pm
Where are you at? If you're in the Atlanta area, I'd happily take you out and talk for awhile?
Comment by Jon on October 3, 2010 at 3:15pm
Ana, I've been there too. Divorced with a kid. I'm in Utah. No real great advice, though... it does suck and it really hurts. I can say that it gets better though. Hang in there, keep your eyes focused on life in three or four years. A LOT of things can change in just a few years and you'll be surprised at how much better things get.
Comment by Vickie Duncan on October 3, 2010 at 3:46pm
Hey Ana, I feel for you. I have been excempt from family things also. So many people have walked in your
shoes that can help you. Wonderful people. Hang in there, we care.

Vick
Comment by hartlyn on October 3, 2010 at 4:51pm
Welcome, Ana. Did your ex choose the church over you? We see a lot of that around here. Turns out many Mormons are more married to the church than to their spouses. How are the children? Are the two of you amicably sharing visitation or custody? I wish I had advice for you on the marriage front, but my husband and children and I all left the church together, so I count myself very lucky in that regard; however, there's still the matter of TBM parents and sisters and the 500-pound gorilla in the room whenever we get together. I don't hate the church either, but I'm sad for the people who continue to be duped by the organization, and it would kill me to not be able to attend my kids' temple weddings, etc.
I have no real advice, but if you live nearby (Utah county) and just need a shoulder, let me know.
Comment by Don on October 3, 2010 at 6:09pm
tHERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE THAT THE mORMON GRIST MILL HAS HURT, TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF, AND CAUSED TO RETHINK SO MUCH. hOWEVER, WE ARE ALIVE, WE ARE NOW, MORE INTELLIGENT. wE ARE A PRODUCT OF OUR DECISIONS. wITH MORE AND BETTER KNOWLEDGE, WE CAN MAKE BETTER DECISIONS THAT SERVE OUR NEEDS. kNOW FOR A FACT, THE mORMON (DAMNED CAP KEY) Crutch nakes decisions that are 100% in their own self interest. They will and do sacrifice people for their corporate desire to get bigger.

Don
Comment by Ana on October 3, 2010 at 10:55pm
Thanks everyone. To those of you who asked I'm in Denver Colorado and love it. I updated my profile, today, so now there's a little more info for you all :)
Comment by Susan G. Emmett on October 4, 2010 at 12:56am
I guess I feel ionspired to just be honest here about the church. I hate it -- plain and simple. If that makes me "unevolved" then so be it. It's existence caused me to waste my talents and intelllgence on things that didn't need to be done and were simply fraudulent for most of my adult life, robbing me of a career that I know I would have excelled in. It's existence caused me to go through my adult years feeling worked to the bone, and yet "unacceptable" because I had a liberal thought or two. It's existence has robbed me of the sweet and close relationship I had always envisioned for myself with my kids and grandchildren. It's existence dripped a continual poison into my marriage -- which would have been tenuous anyway probably -- but which was made much more difficult and eventually was murdered by the grinding dogma and impossible expectations on couples that it makes, and my ex's penchant for finding ways to unpressurize the pressure. I hate it because I see my daughters having migraines, drinking dangerous amounts caffeeine during the day in order to have the energy to "do it all", and fight self-loathing and depression. I hate it because I see my sons bowed at times by the expectations of their molly mormon wives to "be all and do all", be Mr. Perfect Priesthood, and support multiple children while doing so. I hate it because my father will die in the next year or two, believing that the child most like him (me) will not be with him in the "next life". I hate it because it has produced men like the GA's who have the gall to broadcast to the world their teeny tiny perspectives on what this life is all about, and assume that what they say is the most important thing to be heard by the miniscule portion of the earth's population who will ever hear it - I hate their pomposity and self-righteousness. And I hate it because of all the other wonderful people in our exmo community who feel the same way I do -- and still fight the falsity that it's "not nice" or sinful to hate anything. Damned if it is -- hate can be healing at times, because it is allowing oneself to be fully present.

So -- what's my remedy for all this hatred? To live my life right now to the very fullest, to savor each minute of every day, to look at a stunning sunset as I did tonight and just "live it" without having to thank a "God" for it. To accept that my past IS what it is, and that no amount of tears or regret is going to change what has been. And to not be ashamed of the hatred, nor be shamed by anyone telling me I "shouldn't feel that way". I was one of the "obedient ones", and yet I've had enough shame for eternity. I don't need to work out THAT karma next time around. :-)

Love to all of you "out there" who swing between joy and sorrow every day as we walk farther away from that church.

Sue

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