I'm in love for the first time in my life, and it is good. I haven't felt this wonderful in a very long time, maybe never. She is everything that I could ask for, but the downside is, her immune system has taken way too many blows when she was little, and that worries me greatly. A month ago, she had a bad cold which turned into a flu in a few days. And now? She has bronchitis, but still, I'm there for her, even though we're in two separate countries. I'm in southern California, while she is in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Everyone said that it would never last, but this relationship has been going on for two years now, and it has taken me that long to really understand what it means to be in love. For her, on the other hand, it took about eight months to really mean the three little words, "I love you."

 

I know, I'm a cold hearted bastard, or something along those lines, but my mind works like that. I've had short termed relationships, never long term, and have always been crushed in the end. This is the first time I've actually felt comfortable enough to let all my worries go, and experience the true nature of Love. Foreigner's song "I Want To Know What Love Is" speaks more to the truth of what my head and emotions are going through right now. I would ask her, but I think she would get the wrong impression, even after explaining it to her. So, I'm keeping that to myself.

 

When I first met her, it was on a chat site for those who believed that Werewolves, Vampires, etc exist, and I was roleplaying on that site, even though they don't allow it. It didn't bother me, but others were, after they found out one year later, but I digress. I had met her through a good friend of mine, a young woman named Rachael who, at that time, believed herself to be a Werewolf. She introduced us, and we kept on talking. Our conversations ranged from delusions to magic, and everything in between. It was fun talking to her, and I eventually started to feel that we had a connection growing between us.

 

It was about eight or nine months of talking to her over the chat site that I invited her to a web cam chat. At the time, I was about 200 pounds heavier than I am right now, so I didn't know how she would react. Surprisingly, it wasn't too horrific. She didn't mind my weight, and offered several solutions for it. Which is how she introduced me to the Atkin's Diet which, by the way, works. After I got to see her for the first time, my heart fluttered several times. I found her to be beautiful, and told her so. Even to this day, I found it amusing when she blushes scarlet, and had a few smiles for her when that happened. What was even more amusing, was when I said, very bluntly, "I love you." Her eyes widened, and she feinted in front of the camera.

 

This commotion startled her roommates, who rushed to her side and demanded to know what I did to her. I merely stated what I had told her, and Missy, one of her roommates, laughed at this. The other, Samantha, got her back on her feet, and shakily said "I love you too." The feeling I had, then, was indescribable, and filled me more than anyone had ever done before. It would be another four or five months that I would show up on her doorstep, and found myself wondering how female oompa-loompas appeared in front of me. Yes, I went there, and even stated this. I got a punch in the gut for it.

 

All three of them were short. Not midget size, but it would've been close. Missy was about 4'9'', Samantha was 5'8'', and my girlfriend is about 5'7''. Me? I'm 6'7'', so I'm a giant compared to those three. Something I felt attracted towards her, though, was that she was the right size, in all aspects about her. Waist, chest, height, all perfect for me. She is also has a mixed heritage of Japan, Native, and German, qualities that I love about her. Her parents are short as well, which is fine, but when the tall jokes start rolling, short jokes such as "Huh? Who Said that" and "I heard a voice, but could not tell from which direction it came from" pop up.

 

Her mother was easy to get along with, and she likes me well enough that I don't have to worry much. Her father, on the other hand, is an odd one. He wouldn't stop staring at me for the longest time, and would only give short answers to my questions. It was funny, really, when he showed me his collection of oddities, torture devices, and started speaking about how to kill a person and dump their bodies. I had a laugh at that, and explained how easily the cops would find out that it was him who did it, then started prattling on about how I would do it. needless to say, I got to see his mouth drop. "Death doesn't scare me," I had told him, "Leaving your daughter alone when I'm gone. Now THAT scares the sh*t out of me." Took him a month to like me afterwards.

 

After returning to California, I had told my folks about the trip, and how I believe that she was "the One" for me. They were happy, and asked when the wedding was to be scheduled. I was in a foul mood after they asked this, because they expected me to marry immediately, and even bragged about how they got married at my age, had me, and my siblings years later. Before you ask, YES, they are Mormons. I told them that we will not marry until AFTER she finished with her university. She wants to be a pediatrics doctor with a PHD, but with the help of her mother, I'm planning to ask for her hand when she gets a bachelor's degree in a couple years.

 

Needless to say, my folks are not thrilled by this prospect, but what can they do? Me and her are planning to live together in an apartment when I find a sponsor, so that I may live near her. They weren't pleased, and my mother had the gall to tell the local bishop this, who then tried to bring me into his office, as well as send visiting teachers to see me. None worked, so they are left to simmer over it. The whole thing is rather ridiculous, really. Why should we marry when she hasn't yet lived her life to a degree? Why should I burden her with children when she doesn't feel ready? Its not going to happen, so why can't they just accept it? I know I have, even though I'm wanting kids, I can wait an eternity if I need to.

 

Before I forget her name is Nastasia Ferris.

Views: 25

Comment

You need to be a member of Life After Mormonism (exmormon) to add comments!

Join Life After Mormonism (exmormon)

Our Stories

Follow us on
Facebook & Twitter

Videos |Stories |Chat |Books |Store |Forum
Your Donations are appreciated
and help to promote and fund LAM.
Make a Donation
 

Privacy Tip: Setting your profile/My-Page visibility to "Members Only" will make your status updates visible to members only.

Community Links

Map

Videos

  • Add Videos
  • View All

We are an online social community of former mormons, ex-mormons, ex-LDS and sympathizers. Stay C.A.L.M. - Community After Leaving Mormonism

© 2017   Created by MikeUtah.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service