This past week has been invigorating and saddening. Last week I graduated from High School and left Mormonism all in the same day. The notes I wrote, ( http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,184972,184972#msg-184972 ) detailed to my family why I must leave. Unfortunately they misconstrued what I wrote as hateful messages to deceive them. They reported me missing, accused me of having a fake ID, accused me of being a vile manipulator and many other things. When I spoke to the officer who entered me as a missing person, he accused me of being a felon for leaving even though I'm of legal age to do so. Which amused me in a sense, because I later found out he's Mormon as well.
Throughout all of these events I was in a very dark place. I wasn't quite here but not quite gone either. All of the emotions running through my mind and permeating my body overwhelmed me. Grief, despair, sadness, anger, jubilation, joy, happiness, vindication and any other emotion you can think of ran through me at lightspeed over the past week.
My parents accusing attitude wasn't strictly limited to me, however. They felt it necessary to accuse nearly everyone I've interacted with outside the church of being 'un-christian' and 'manipulative.' Thankfully, they've ceased throwing around accusations and have taken a more laid back stance toward the situation, love-bombing. It's a sneakier method, but I'd rather have them taking that approach than one of brute force.
I'm not sure how I feel about my family now that I've left. A large part of me just wants to forget, to close that chapter forever. I still love them of course, that bond will never be broken. But some part of me feels that in order to preserve that bond a certain distance must be kept for a period of time, the duration of which I am uncertain. I don't quite know what to think about that, or how to feel about it.
But, now I have my whole life ahead of me. Free of judgment, free of fear, free of oppression, free of repression and free of Mormonism! Thanks to all of you for the support and thank you Susan, Eric and others for providing the board for so many. It's value is immeasurable and language lacks the capacity to express my gratitude for the board.
Thank you all.