Since January 2009 my family and I don’t attend the meetings of the LDS church since we were requested not to (not directly but that’s what they meant). As some of you may know, my wife and I were approached by the high counsel representative of our ward in January and he informed us that the bishopric prefered the church services that our family did not attend. Not only my wife and I were shocked with this but our 3 children were shocked as well. Our two youngsters don’t want to listen to anything that has to do with God or religion anymore.
Our son is being treated for dislexy since 3 years now and people with dislexy have sometimes a weird behaviour. That was not understood although my wife explained the situation time and time again. Instead of helping him, he was treated in a way that other children’s parents warned us that he was not being handled in a christlike way. So my wife talked again with whom she was supposed to. It was not accepted because nobody knew better than the bishopric and primary presidency (not even us his parents) what was best for our son.
Then I decided that it was time for me to take action. I spoke to the bishop and asked him why he didn’t talk to me concerning his troubles with my family and why he and his counselours prefered the church meetings that we did not attend. I also asked why he sent someone else to pass us the message instead of telling us himself. I was told in a very rude way that there was nothing to talk about with our family, he also insulted my sister-in-law saying that in spite she was a church member, that while he was a bishop that the bishopric did not consider her a member, and he hung up the phone. After calling the stake presidency and informing them about this, there was nothing that changed. We later received a mail from the stake’s first counselour informing us that this was a test that God was giving us (and I can write a lot about the way members and leaders have been treating our family since I met my wife. Even our children when they were under 8 were not spared!!!).
It’s amazing that while we were giving clothes and bikes to his grandchildren (on that Sunday, right before we were called by the high council representative we gave a second bike and a few other bags with clothes to his grandchildren) he never told us that we were a problem as a family. On the contrary, he told us several times that we were a very good LDS family. Right before the interview he even saluted us as if we were his greatest friends! The same when we gave referals to the missionaries, when the missionaries came over to eat / meet our friends. He even called my wife and I to be temple workers in the Hague temple, but the last time we went to the temple (a year later) we found out that he never sent the names to the temple for us to be called.
He also did not have a problem when false doctrine was preached from the pulpit by his friends nor when his first counselor told to another member that my in-laws were the worst family in the ward. It was also not a problem when my oldest daughter found her brand new Bible all wet in the baptismal font and when we found insults to our family in a Hymnbook. (Updated 25 May 2010)
As a result of this we decided not to return to the LDS church. My wife goes with our oldest daughter to another ward (not anymore – today is 18 Aug 09) but my two youngest children and I don’t. With this my mind was in deep confusion and for two months I even denied the idea that God exists (sometimes I still do, they were able to destroy my faith in God to its very core!). As I spoke to a catholic priest, my belief in God resumes little by little. There are days that I believe that He exists, and there are days that I don’t. But I am not mad/upset/desapointed with LDS leaders. To tell you the truth, I don’t feel anything for them.
I requested for our family not to be contacted by local leaders (ward) anymore. We don’t want such people in our lives. Local members are more than welcome as long as they don’t speak about religion. Via a former Relief Society president we found out that there are lies about us going around, but we don’t care. We are glad that when she informed us she added “I know you several years now to see when people tell the truth about you and when they are not telling the truth. I don’t believe a thing of what they told me about your family”. Many of our church friends are amazed that it took almost 15 years since my wife and I got married for us to stop attending, considering everything we went through in the church (see here – post in Portuguese). We don’t regret what we did and how we served.
Around March I decided to start studying about the church on my own, especially some “ghosts that have been infiltrating” my mind for several years and what I found about the church was not pleasant. I found out that the church has been lying to me since the very beginning about its doctrines and about what it claimed to be. The more I searched the more I found. I felt betrayed, stolen and abused. Betrayed because they betrayed my faith and confidence, stolen because they stole my time (2 year mission and all the time I gave them) and money (10% of my family income) and abused because before you know you are brainwashed and spiritual and emotionally abused. Mormon leaders are specialist in brainwashing, blackmailing and intruding in your family life before you notice it.
When I found out all of this my soul cried and bled but with time I was able to rise again and to be happy. In fact, thanks to that bishopric I had the courage to open my eyes and to discover that mormonism is a huge fraud. Since I found out the truth about Joseph Smith and his gospel I don’t consider myself a member of the mormon church anymore (begin 2010 I resigned from the mormon church on a certified letter to Salt Lake City – I hope to receive a letter soon confirming that my request was granted).
Since we stopped attending, I am getting better from my depression (my wife stayed home from work for 6 weeks, always crying and feeling miserable because she felt that she was such a bad person). We are finally making friends who care and not people who want to invade our lives with the intent to sabotage our marriage and our family basic foundations. We are finally happy and growing in love and unity.
We wish you all the best and please know that as long as you don’t speak about religion you are welcome. Our friends are always welcome. But now it’s our time to live and to be happy. Our son is also getting better and now for the first time he has real friends who really care and help him with his dislexy. We feel free and loved by our new friends, what didn’t happened before.
There are many things that I would like to write about, but it is still not the moment. Maybe later.
I only hope that because of this post I will not be subject to church discipline. If that will ever happen, it is very lame on their part… but with them we never know. If there are changes I will keep you posted.
On January 8 , 2010 I sent a certified letter to the Church Headquarters in Salt Lake City requesting my name removal from their records. (Updated on 25 May2010)