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Comment by JustBreatheN on July 25, 2012 at 10:20am

Good point Dugger. I actually served my mission in the Texas Houston East Mission and served in that area you speak of. The stake president was an anti Mormon and all the anti ended up converting him. He may have been released since I was there but his presence is still lingers. That area has many baptisms because of how he deals with the affairs of the members. It wouldn't surprise me if he actually affected your cousin and his marriage. That area is nuts. Great people in the area, but the leadership is nuts.

Comment by Dugger on July 25, 2012 at 10:08am

I dunno if moving to Texas will guarantee to be the panacea you hope it will.  Sure, it might work out fine for you but my questioning "less active" cousin and his wife moved from UT to South Texas, (Beaumont area), and found there was a pocket of the community densely populated with Taliban TBMs.  His wife was pounced upon by these people and it ended up prying them apart.  They've been divorced for 7 years.  He came back to UT and after remarrying in TX, she and her new hubby are now living in Vernal to be near that particular temple.  Getting a sealing cancellation turned into a real circus story for the family.

Comment by JustBreatheN on July 24, 2012 at 8:09pm

I think I've seen you post on exmormon website before SuzyQ. You've been going that long? What makes your husband so TBM? Why doesn't he see the "dark side" yet? I know what you mean with the whole "feeling the spirit" thing and becoming humble to go back. It's more difficult than that. Unfortunately we will not do that because you can't with the "further light and knowledge" we have. I don't think you or I should give up on the TBM spouse. Do you still love your DH? Does he resent you for being an exmo? I'm interested now. :)

Comment by suzyq on July 24, 2012 at 6:34pm

I would love to help you in anyway I can. I have been trying to not suffocate in my marriage to an ultra TBM man. I'm not on LAM much these days. I am pretty cynical about marriage longevity with postmos and TBM's. There is no acceptance, just hope and prayer and faith that I will be humbled enough to feel the spirit once again. It's more than a set of beliefs, it is also a way of life and a culture here in Utah. I've been fighting this for almost 9 years. I'm worn down and tired of being the bad guy. 

Message me if you want to talk. :) 

Comment by JustBreatheN on July 23, 2012 at 9:21pm

I'll keep you posted.

Comment by JustBreatheN on July 23, 2012 at 9:21pm

Thanks y'all! It's good to hear support. Looking forward to getting a job in Texas. It'll be great. Or at least one step closer to not living on pins and needles. :)

Comment by MikeUtah on July 23, 2012 at 9:17am

Welcome JustBreatheN.  Sounds like you're still in the thick of repercussions of leaving Mormonism.  Getting your wife away from family/TBMs might help, but it might also do the opposite and dig in harder.  For me, I had to realize that my path is my own and my wife has her own path to follow as well.  While she ended up joining me in leaving the church on her own terms, I had to let her discover that for herself, offering sources when asked and such, but otherwise being at peace with whatever she decided, even if that was to stay.  Not sure if that will help but may give you some further points to think about.  Good luck!  We're here when you need a listening and empathetic ear.

Comment by Heatherlovesboo on July 23, 2012 at 8:01am

But my issues are like yours in that the outside pressures from my TBM in-laws seem to be at the heart of most (not all) of my marital problems.

Comment by Heatherlovesboo on July 23, 2012 at 7:59am

The first thing is I dont think you can't predict the end of your marriage. Trying to do that might be like a self fulfilling prophecy. How old are your kids? I like the idea of moving to Texas. I think distance from anyone that is not supportive of your marriage or of you, has to be a good thing. I'm not sure I'm the best person here to give advice. My situation is very different. My husband was inactive when we met and I'm a nevermo. My husband being inactive was less about not believing the teachings but just not believing that he needed to live his life by such stringent principles. It's a much longer story but hopefully someone else will chime in with more thoughts.

I've also gained a lot of help from the Exmormons group on yahoo. There is an active support system there for too.

Comment by JustBreatheN on July 23, 2012 at 2:37am

Excuse my typos if any, I'm typing from my phone. :)

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