Mixed Faith Marriage Support


Mixed Faith Marriage Support

This group is primarily for those navigating a mixed exmo/TBM relationship or marriage to support each other and share what works, what to avoid, and how to best cope or move on. Nevermo/TBM sojourners are also welcome.

Location: support
Members: 78
Latest Activity: Feb 15

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Discussion Forum

New Here - Summary of My MF Marriage

Started by Red Sand. Last reply by MikeUtah Nov 26, 2014. 1 Reply

Here's my abbreviated story:Brought up in a "common" christian religion in the SouthAs a very young adult joined TSCCEncouraged g/f to join - she did eventuallyWe got married, had five kids - both…Continue

Women Married to TBM

Started by suzyq. Last reply by SunnyDee Apr 30, 2014. 12 Replies

Living with a "worthy priesthood" holder and TBM kids is tough. I haven't officially resigned. But I haven't believed for over 8 years. Looking for other women who can relate. Feels hopeless.

TBM wife, not yet outed exmo

Started by Mithryn. Last reply by Bruce Holt Feb 28, 2014. 11 Replies

So what can I say; I'm timid at posting, worried about public opinion, and my wife is very upset about my stance, but not so upset as to try and look in to see if anything I say has credence. I don't…Continue

As a Nevermo, I am never going to be good enough

Started by Heatherlovesboo. Last reply by Heatherlovesboo Feb 24, 2012. 5 Replies

I am a nevermo and my husband has been inactive the entire time that we have been together but his family is a multiple generations TBM family. Even though my husband is inactive, I feel like he…Continue

Tags: inactive, TBM, Nevermo

Comment Wall


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Comment by Heatherlovesboo on July 23, 2012 at 8:01am
But my issues are like yours in that the outside pressures from my TBM in-laws seem to be at the heart of most (not all) of my marital problems.
Comment by Heatherlovesboo on July 23, 2012 at 7:59am
The first thing is I dont think you can't predict the end of your marriage. Trying to do that might be like a self fulfilling prophecy. How old are your kids? I like the idea of moving to Texas. I think distance from anyone that is not supportive of your marriage or of you, has to be a good thing. I'm not sure I'm the best person here to give advice. My situation is very different. My husband was inactive when we met and I'm a nevermo. My husband being inactive was less about not believing the teachings but just not believing that he needed to live his life by such stringent principles. It's a much longer story but hopefully someone else will chime in with more thoughts.

I've also gained a lot of help from the Exmormons group on yahoo. There is an active support system there for too.
Comment by JustBreatheN on July 23, 2012 at 2:37am
Excuse my typos if any, I'm typing from my phone. :)
Comment by JustBreatheN on July 23, 2012 at 2:36am
My wife and I have been together for nearly 10 years now (married for 6; in the temple). I came out to her two years ago that I do not believe in TSCC. Recently in the last 6 months, I have told her I'm agnostic leaning atheist. She took it pretty well but definitely cried here and there to help her through my lack of belief. The reason why I'm seeking support is because I feel pretty alone in all of this, even if I do have reddit, exmormon.org and now this. My family consistently throws the church $#!t out at me as if I'm still active and all. My wife takes the silent response whenever I have anything to say about church, good or bad (mostly good). She almost feels like she is stepping on pins and needles to appease my lack of belief. I've tried to assure her that isn't the case. Her problem is she hates change and I'm a beacon of change. If that's the case, would a marriage like mine work out? I know if we shared the same belief things would be better, but how much better is the question. I hate that my kids are getting indoctrinated into the church right now at their young ages. It tears me apart knowing they will have to go through the guilt they will while trying to be perfected in TSCC. My family situation (extended) would be the perfect example as to how JS was when he was living. I have one uncle serving time for sexually abusing his daughters and now I have another (now ex uncle) that was revealed to be doing the same thing with his daughter. I wish they'd see the resemblance and how the church tries to cover it up to protect their own. I'd rather not go into detail, because the details are full of disgust. My wife I think could be an unbeliever if she was away from my family and away from hers. She feels comfortable and secure in her network of TBM's and therefore doesn't see why I've left. She used to look up to me and my studies with the church. Since I've come out as one with a lack of belief, she doesn't look to me like she used to. I'm trying to get a job outside of Utah (preferably Texas) in healthcare (I'm a healthcare worker) and hopefully never coming back to live in Utah again. The area is beautiful, but the religion still gives me stomach pains. Why couldn't I have been born into an atheist family... Then things might have been slightly better... But who really knows? I know I need to suck it up and find similarities in other things with my wife. The bad thing is that I'm too fed up with the church that it's hard for me to get out of the bitter stage. I'm struggling also to keep money in the bank and I think back to how many thousands of dollars I was suckered out of in tithing that could help us today. Obviously I can't do much about that. We've lowered our debt, paid things off and live with family to help us get back on track. I don't know if I really need any advice, because every situation is different, but it's nice to know someone is somewhat interested in how I think or feel. My wife may say that, but inside she thinks it'll be resolved with coming back to church (as with the rest of the family, my father actually said my marriage will end because of my lack of belief, comforting eh?). Okay, I've said my peace. Now to try and get some shut eye.
Comment by Heatherlovesboo on July 23, 2012 at 2:10am
I do.
Comment by JustBreatheN on July 23, 2012 at 1:57am
Anyone still read this forum? I just discovered it and just looking for support like normal. :)
Comment by MikeUtah on January 5, 2012 at 9:10pm

I had hopped for more discussion too.  I guess the group is here when it's needed.

Comment by Dugger on January 5, 2012 at 7:15pm

I'm struck there hasn't been more posts on this thread.  I thot there'd be a lot more interaction.  Oh, well....

Comment by MikeUtah on January 2, 2012 at 9:37pm

This blog post should benefit mixed faith relationships: http://www.lifeaftermormonism.net/profiles/blogs/passive-aggressive...

Comment by MikeUtah on February 26, 2011 at 10:50am
Hi Chipmonk, that's a very tough situation you're in. My suggestion is to look for the positives: You can now live your life going forward free of guilt, and pursue it how you wish. You're never too old to go back to school. I know many an ex-mo stay-at-home-mom that has gone back to school, even if their kids are now all grown and approaching retirement. Fuck retirement in my opinion. Go now and live!

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