Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by MikeUtah on March 12, 2011 at 1:22am

From my perspective, it sounds like you are still living your life to please others, giving your power away to them, rather than taking your power back and living for yourself, fuck everyone else.  You're only truly damned if you believe other people's opinions of yourself over your own positive affirmations.  Take your power back, stop caring what others think of you over what you think of you.  Say what you want and be who you are as those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.  Let incompatible relationships die if they can't live with your authentic self.  New, authentic relationships will soon replace what you appear to be afraid to lose.  Live your truth.  Living a lie is a slow and painful death of your authentic self and life force.  My 2 cents.  Disregard if this doesn't resonate with you.

Permalink Reply by BlueEyesBrittany on August 21, 2011 at 11:42am

Good advice

Permalink Reply by CamBam on March 16, 2011 at 12:44am

Dude just get the hell out of the church.  Seriously.  Do you want to live your whole life like this?

I did the same thing- went to BYUH, could not date seriously because all the TBM's would drive me nutts trying to convert me (and trying to get me to go to the bishop with them when we made out too much) and I hated living a double life.

Now I'm completely out and never been happier! 

Don't worry.  When you really get outside of the church, you will find people to date.  Women will appreciate some of what you've learned in the church as far as chivalry and being sweet - you will find people who can accept you.  

Being in the church when you don't believe is so miserable and feels crappy.  Get out.  If you live in a mormon place, go travel.  Life is good and too short to be unhappy.

Permalink Reply by Ber_28 on November 26, 2011 at 9:31pm

Im facing the same problem, I dont believe in mormons doctrines but Im dating a lds girls, I love lds girls, they are different, but I decided to be honest to mysef, you should find someone who think like you.

Permalink Reply by KimC on July 3, 2012 at 11:04am

I moved to Texas when I finally got my name off records. I am in the bible belt and own a business so I tell people I am Christian. Actually I am more like new age/agnostic so I keep it to myself. Its no big deal, beliefs are personal anyway. Problem I have with dating is that agnostics are hard to find and even X Christians don't really get Xmo since we were more like living in a cult than a religion. I really just want to find an Xmo like me. But hey BE free!! Relax and enjoy just being you and don't focus on what you find lacking just focus on the freedom and the fun!

Permalink Reply by BlueEyesBrittany on October 20, 2012 at 4:40am

Just be yourself with non mormons .......

With mormons, be more careful but really if they followed the christian teaching of not judging others ... they should let you free to chose your own path as long as you are responsible in the choices you make, honest about them and do not harm any one.

My take.... i come from a liberal background .... was hurt because some in my family were too liberal and was hurt by religious people who were too religious and extremists in their views.

I understand

Permalink Reply by situation heretic on January 25, 2013 at 4:38pm

I totally follow this. I just seem to not fit in everywhere. I felt like I fit in at BYU, except for not taking religion so seriously anymore. Ick, if I didn't have to hear words like "blessings" and "obedience" all the time it would have been perfect.

Like KimC, it was a lot easier to be a doubter and later nonbeliever after moving to Texas. But what community do I fit in? None! It's like I have a bunch of baggage that only a few people around here could understand. I agree with Christian philosophy in general, but I don't have faith in anything. I feel like you can't be authentic in a religious context unless you actually have a reason to believe. If you didn't need a reason to believe I might as well be mormon. That would be less people I needed to tell about my disaffection.

I feel like I should start a new post so that I could really rant.

Permalink Reply by Kathy on May 5, 2013 at 2:37pm

Here's my take on what you wrote.  What I believe, the way I live, and the way I feel is my business.  No one else's.  My whole family is Mormon.  They all live in Utah and I live in Washington state.  I like living where I can be myself.  I can be a liberal and have doubts that there is a God.  When I go visit my family in Utah, I just don't talk to them about my beliefs.  I go to church with them and I'm nice to their friends.  But I don't tell them my opinions.  I am a straight ally and I support same-sex marriage.  I don't talk to my family about my involvement with them.  For me, this works.  It has relieved a lot of the hate and resentment I had for years.