I need some advice. I have 3 kids and no babysitters. Nobody will take my kids all at once cause they say handling 3 kids is just too much for them so I never get a moment without the babies.
The only time I get a break is on the weekends when my dad decides to take the kids to church. He picks them up Saturday night and drops them off Sunday after they eat lunch.
The problem is my kids are starting to understand the church teachings and its really having a bad effect. My 4 (almost 5) yr old came home crying one day because mommy and daddy are going to go to the bad place for not believing in Jesus.
Anything spiritually I tell my kids well it gets contradicted and well "Papaw wouldn't lie to us"... I feel I should stop allowing them to go before they start doing any more damage but then well I would never have a day to myself.
I know it sounds stupid and even horrible that I'm worried about a break... But being with them 24/7 does wear on me.
I need advice FAST!
Wow, what an awful situation. When you say "no babysitters" does that just mean you don't know any babysitters, or you can't afford a babysitter, or what exactly? I'm sure you could find a babysitter in your area that would be willing to watch your kids. Check craigslist or search for a nanny on places like http://www.nannies4hire.com/ or http://www.nanny.com. Maybe you could even have your dad take the kids a different day of the week out for ice cream or something fun, rather than to church. Or maybe you could find a day care or day camp activity of some kind who will take them once or twice a week for you. Just some ideas... Good luck!
I'm very protective of my kids. There are only a select few people I am okay with allowing my kids to go with. I do not have regular babysitters and the people that usually do take them will only take my 2 older girls or my son. Never all 3 together so its hard to ever get a "true" break.
My parents know this about me so they use Sunday as a way to try to "save" my kids from eternal damnation like any good Christian would do. My dad used to take my son to the picture of Jesus they have in the living room and have him talk to it when he was a little baby.. he'd look at my mom and go, "Look Linda he knows! He knows the truth!" He'd do this while I was there knowing how I felt.. It really hurts that they aren't respectful of me.
Normally this would be an easy question to answer, but with your sanity hanging in the balance it is a little hard. There were many reasons why we left the church 18 months ago, but one of the big ones was that our daughters were getting older and started getting a testimony, and we started getting scared that if we didnt leave now that our daughters would get so intrenced in the church and find them that wonderful return missionary (makes me feel sick,lol), and that the bad horrible cycle would start over again in the next generation, so we decided to walk out then and there, and not look back. By the sounds of things your kids are little, so the effect wont be so lasting, but before you know if they will be in the youth programm and getting even more brainwashed. I know having that free babysitter is great, but is it worth it, you only get one chance with your kids in life, so you need to decide if the break from them is worth it, I dont think it is, but then im not a single parent.
I hate to say it but a lot of members are not very nice people, and they will do or say anything to your children, in the hopes that your child will come home from church and try and pull the sympathy card on ETERNAL LIFE, DONT fall for it. my eldest daughter when she turned 12 had her first interview with the Bishop, she was excited and you know what he asked her first up, he asked her if she MASTURBATED, she didnt even know what that was at the time, we were so pissed and decided that we would never allow and church leader to interview our kids again, ask yourself if you want that for your children.
Good luck, if i can help in any other way just let me know, I know its hard but hold strong to what you now believe.
Finally Out (for good)
I am with you. I am not a single mom but my husband works a ton and even when he is home I do the majority of the work when it comes to the children. He's an amazing father but to the kids I'm the main authority..
You need to discuss this with your father. I would never go against my children's wishes concerning this tender subject, knowing it could cause a permanent rift later on in life. They shouldn't be hearing any kind of hell type doctrine, for sure, at such a tender age. You do have a choice. You can keep them home. And I know many people who've cared for 3 children under babysitting rules. Is there something you aren't telling us about why people won't tend them?
The kids are fine and are usually very well mannered and well behaved. Its the quantity.. They don't like taking all of them because of the hassle of 3 kids. My parents say they are getting too old to handle 3 and my friends most don't have children so they don't know how to juggle 3... So I don't have much options.. The only reason my parent's sometimes take my kids on Saturday is so they can start them into the church..
I think introducing them to a healthier church will help them transition out of the brain washing that has already been done. I like the Unitarian Universalist, they are welcoming to atheists. Hopefully there will be a good child's program to help get your kids engage in healthy thinking. I am not ok with any religion teaching kids that one or both of their parents are going to hell. You need to show them not everyone believes that.
You definitely need a babysitter! Could you organize play dates for all your kids, but in different places? I love the babysitter I found! She posted a flyer at my grocery store, and she does an amazing job! My kids just love her, and I love the break.
I may think about going to a few services. Hubby says he wouldn't mind trying it out a couple times because of it not being any 1 denomination or religion for that matter!
You definitely need some time and space for yourself. You could live like this forever, but it's no fun. Could you check in the phone book under Professional Nannies, or like that, to just see what someone like that would cost. You may be pleasantly surprised to find someone who really gets along well with your kids, gives you peace of mind, and gives you precious time alone.