Assuming you didn't drink while you were mormon and entered the drinking world later than most, what is your tale of that first time, or the first few times..?!


I have some halarious (to me) stories to tell. And just for the record, I barely drink. But I did learn how and I even worked as a cocktail waitress and bartender at one point in my life. Over the next few days I'll try to enter some stories in here for post lds enjoyment. I think some of you will be able to relate. 


First story: I had been out of the church for a few years and even though I was out of the church I had never taken up drinking. Oh I tried a beer, and had to suffer the few sips I did manage to get down. It just seemed like super nasty stuff to me. I couldn't figure out HOW people could develop an addiction to it. (I was super naive) 

One day at work someone who was rich and powerful and good looking walked into our office to do some business and on his way out he came over to my desk and struck up a conversation and in the end he asked me out for a drink. I declined and when he left the office, all the women ran over to tell me WHO HE WAS< just incase I didn't get the severity of what I had just done.  

But what I couldn't tell them, is that I turned him down....because...I had never been in a bar in my life and I'd never had a drink!! It was a totally foreign idea to me and I wouldn' t have known what to do. 

All these women gathering around my desk berating me got me to thinking about something I just didn't think about. The fact that the other half of the world drinks. (probably more than that)  Or just that ALOT of the population in the US drinks alcohol and I'm afraid to walk down the beer isle in the grocery store. And for sure I never went inside an evil "holy ghost deprived" bar or club. Yet, many of my co workers did and I was not a part of the world. Why not? Why was I not literate in this foreign language, why had I not gone through this rite of passage? 

I decided I need to explore this country of alcohol and learn the language while I was there. If for nothing else, to see what other's saw in it. To be able to relate to others better and to integrate myself into the society in which I lived. IOW, to be in the world and OF the world! If only for a time, knowing that I could check out at any moment if it was too evil, too scary, or not for me. 

Having contemplated this delima, I made an adult post mormon FREE WILL true on spot choice to enter this world and explore! 

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My first time was probably around 9 days or so after I left the church where I had a free glass of champagne after a show I was stage managing.  I thought it tasted horrible.  The first time I tried a Miller Lite I was disappointed because it tasted like water and did absolutely nothing to me.   However when I had a strawberry daiquiri and a budweiser at a bar was when I felt the first real hit.   I felt like it was an explosion inside my head that allowed me to be more of a fun party guy instead of how I usually am.


Of course I didn't drive home until that feeling diminished.  


You mean in England they have something to drink besides tea and those movies where all they ever drink is tea are wrong?  LOL.  JK.


Actually so far what I do drink is daiquiris, budweiser, rum and coke, rum and lemonade, and that is about it.


What I have hated so far is champagne, chardonnay, bloody marys (bllleeeehhhhhhhh!!!), and jack daniels whiskey.



I am not a fanatic of alcohol though.  I guess I was glad not to be under the influence going through some of my most challenging teen and early adult years because now I can responsibly do things in moderation. 

The British are coming!  The British are coming!

Ahhh, it's a work day and I don't have time to post, but nice to hear from you guys. I was so naive for so long. I've always said I did my responsible 30's in my 20's and visa versa. Once I got out I had alot of catching up to do. Looks like you all got in there and got after it!

I was like your friend in church, I would've been shocked that you drank, and secretly would've wished I had the courage to try it as well. I married an lds guy from a good lds family, and I remember his mother coming to visit us out of state for a few days. It was summer and hot and she expressed a desire to sit on the front porch and sip a beer. I was totally shocked! LOL. Couldn't even loosen up when presented the opportunity back then! 

2nd story, Even though I had made a decision to get out there and learn about drinking, it still took me a while. Kind of like when you make a commitment to get to know somebody interesting, but you get around to it when you get around to it. 

Time moved on, I stayed an alcohol virgin, until a half a year later when I had an accident and was injured and laid up. I was laying in front of the TV going in and out of my pain medication drug induced state and this ad for attending bartending school kept playing over and over. It must have brainwashed me, because upon my recovery that's exactly what I did. But it got a little more interesting than that. 

I was still mad at god/the I didn't pray for help, but instead, pulled out the help wanted ads and said out loud, "Universe, or whoever or whatever is good out there, I need to find a job. I will do whatever my finger lands on." Then I closed my eyes and circled the newspaper, zero-ing in on something. When my finger hit the page, I opened my eyes. To my GREAT surprise my finger was smack dab on "Attend bartending school. Classes forming weekly!" I was as shocked as anyone. But a promise is a promise. I picked up the phone and called. The price of tuition was 2x what I had left on me, so I bargained with the owner to let me pay 1/2 now and 1/2 once I got a job. She agreed. Later that day I was in her class! 

It was SO out of character for me, but even I could see that it would be a great learning adventure into my new world of integrating into society. Even if I had never had a real drink (besides nasty tasting beer) I would know how to mix 400 different cocktails, by memory even! LOL. 

That is so inspiring.  What an adventure!  So have you worked as a bar tender?  Did you enjoy it?

3rd story.

Bourbon, Scotch, Vodka, Gin, Rum, Tequila.

That is the "well" order in your bar. What is a well? Its a rack down in front of your bar sink where you put these alcohol's in the order listed. Why? When you are slamming out drinks in a nightclub, this is the keyboard you are playing. You don't want to have to look down to hit a key, you just want to grab the bottle you need and pour/mix/serve! So the customer can get happy, buzzed, drunk! Kaching! Kaching! Kaching! These 5 alcohol's are the basis of most mixed drinks out there. 

The well is where the least expensive alcohol is kept. That is why you will go into a club and see a special for "well drinks". That means, you can drink the least expensive thing they offer, for less money. 

There are also "Top Shelf" drinks. While they may not sit on the top shelf, they usually sit on shelves behind the bars. They are the more expensive brands that club carries, of the particular alcohol you enjoy.

There are many many different brands of each and every alcohol. Alcohol has a long history and different kinds originate in different countries, who have been making them before the US was even born. There are many, many makers all over the world of your favorite kind of alcohol. It's fun to try them out. Find what suits you and come to appreciate it. Even within the same type of alcohol you will notice slightly differing affects by moving between different makers of that alcohol. For instance, one brand of whiskey might give me a headache, while a different brand might not. I would then choose the one that didn't, as long as I still enjoyed the taste of it. 

Tequila-To Kill Ya

Different alcohol has different affects.

We in the club business noticed that Tequila makes people want to fight. We used to call Wed night, when they had Tequila shots on sale, "To kill ya" night! And it was true. The cops were always called on Tequila night and many, many fights broke out when the tequila was flowing freely. Many jealousy's raged out of control, broken noses were had and you name it! 

Vodka is knows as the drink of choice for alcoholics. It's clear, it doesn't have much of a smell, it gets you drunk fast. Hence, it is easy to sneak a shot of it and not have anyone notice. If you have a friend call you from rehab, they most likely will ask you to come visit them and sneak them a bottle of vodka. (this actually happened to me, a co worker called me from the hospital and asked for this. I didn't do it) 

I wrote the above because I didn't know this stuff starting out. 

4th story. 

I got tired of writing this. Well, really what has happened, we have had mandatory overtime at work for so many months now that I haven't had the energy. But I wanted to fill out the first story a little. That part of wanting to learn to be "in the world and OF the world". So, I went to bar tending school and got a job in a bar. I just got the first job that was offered, due to needing $$$ fast! And bar tending is a way to get money fast, as your tips are in cash! So, I took a job at a little bar on the outskirts of the huge city I lived in at the time. It was a country and western place, a ma and pa place. They had beer, wine and soda. Plus darts and music. It was old geezers that would come in first thing during the day. I was shocked that people wasted their lives sitting around a bar drinking beer all day! Really, I really was. Those poor people having me for their bar tender. I was SO judgemental. And I was just learning all the different beers. 

Beer. People use nicknames for their beer. Miller Genuine Draft is MGD. Pabst Blue Ribbon is PBR. Now these mostly men, were asking me for PBR, and I didn't know what they were talking about! Plus,  sitting and drinking, they were not into tipping. So, this job was going no where fast. On Friday nights, they had a country and western band and couples from all over the countryside would come to town in their country and western best. It was be a big dance night. To me, many of them looked like pretty rough characters, hard drinking, hard living types. I would watch them having a great time dancing with their spouse, and imagine that they went home and beat them up later in the week. "But honey, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you by taking you dancing on Friday night!" Really, I had huge images of this in my head. This was not the crowd that you saw at general conference! This was the crowd that I can only imagine parole officers saw! 

Well, those were my virgin drinking just out of Mormonism impressions. 

Even my bosses, the husband and wife who ran the place, got slobbering drunk on Friday night. Actually as I observed, they got slobbering drunk many nights and relied on me more and more heavily each and every day that passed. So much so, that it only took me 30 days to realize that this was not the place for me. So, without any notice, I quit. 

Now that part, "without any notice"...I had learned in bartending school that you never ever give notice when you are going to quit working in a bar or nightclub. The reason is, there isn't alot of trust in that kind of business. The owners pretty much feel you will give away their drinks in your last 2 weeks after you've given notice, or steal as much money as you can, or drink as much of the inventory as you can. So, IF you give 2 weeks notice, they will can you on the spot anyway. This was all strange for me, and I racked myself with guilt, knowing I was going to leave them high and dry, but was told this is how you did it. 

I went out and lined up another job for myself during the week and at the end of one big Friday night dance, when the husband and wife I worked for were both really inebriated, I told them I wouldn't be back.  That was it, I jumped through that hoop, went through the pain and moved on!

Chime, this was an entertaining read. Thank you! The bar/club scene is a different world for sure.

My virgin story (not my first time but when I was still relatively an alcohol virgin) -- drank Black Velvet from water glasses straight up. A friend and I downed a fifth between us. Woke up in my underwear, sopping wet, in an unfamiliar bed to the sound of people having sex down the hall. No harm done, it turned out, but it was definitely a panicky moment trying to figure out whose bed I was in and where my clothes were.

I can so relate to that.  I felt so weird going into a bar and still do.  I don't know how to relate to the "normal" people that go to bars and socialize.  Their lifestyle is so different than what I am used to that I feel awkward.  Add to that the fact that I am newly single but have been a faithful husband and father since I got off my mission and it makes it even worse!  I know I am not a social outcast (I'm thoughtful and educated and fun) but it is an interesting transition and has made it harder for me to find friends in a new city.  


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