I think you make a good point Pollypinks. I've never tasted an alcoholic beverage and I would probably be smart to leave it that way. On the other hand, I've had cooking sherry in the kitchen for years and have never been tempted to drink any. I've also had vodka in the house for a couple of years that I use as a solvent, and never had a desire to try that, despite going through bouts of depression. So, I may be safe to try drinking something in a social situation
Uh, polly... You *do* come across as self-righteous.. For years I have been AFRAID of alcohol because my biological family is totally a bunch of drunks. I thought that if I had even one drink I would become instantly like them. Then I left the church and curiosity got the better of me. I tried some, at first I disliked the burning feeling down my throat, but the flavour was all right. (Mike's Hard Green Apple) I did not become a drunk, hell, I've only been really drunk twice in the last 2-3yrs. Most of the time I drink slowly and get sleepy. Not even finishing a cooler. I don't even remember when I drank last,. a few months at least. If I start drinking more than a few nights in a row (and for the record, the kids are usually in bed when there's alcohol - unless the in-laws are around) I cut myself off for awhile. It's a matter of self control. Curiousity is normal, pinks. I learned that I hate wines and most rums, but like smoothies (brand escapes me right now) and love orange juice with amaretto. And yes, I do run around in my undies with the curtains open.
Bingo. Again, self-control... moderation... is the key to how to get through life in general. Some people choose to be utterly self-destructive and don't handle themselves well. The thing is, even if they didn't find alcohol, they'd probably do the same thing with other things.
Exmormons often are interested in alcohol, simply because it's an experience that a large chunk of the general population is familiar with, but is completely foreign to somebody from Utah who hasn't got a clue about any of it. People are genuinely curious and if they're like me, they want to understand everything about it, not just indulge in it. The same goes for coffee, tea, decent cooking, clothing that doesn't cover 80% of your body, non-vanilla sex, non-juvenile media choices, cursing, etc. Yes, some people will take all of these things to an unhealthy extreme while testing things out. That being said, it's not a universal thing, and it's drastically unfair to assume that everyone who has any interest in any of those things is sophomoric and doing things stupidly. Yes, some people will run amuck. Just assuming that anyone who does _____ is _____ is unfair and incorrect.
My choosing to have a glass of wine with dinner sometimes is not reactionary to the church or being Mormon. I'm way beyond that stage of healing. I didn't have my first drink until over five years after I left the church. My choosing to occasionally get drunk with friends is not a problem. Note that when I say drunk, I do not mean passed out, puking, blacked out, or any of that crap. I've learned my limits, and I know what works well and I respect myself to not push myself past that point. Again, self control is key. People choose different ways to live, and honestly, just because something doesn't work for one person doesn't mean that it doesn't work for everyone. Similarly, I've got friends with open marriages and friends that openly swing. I never could have a lifestyle like that, never would want to, but I respect them and know they're doing what's right for their families. I can't condemn it. I've got friends who toke. Similarly, I have a laundry list of reasons why I won't indulge, but I'm not going to hold my issues over somebody else's head. I know people who overdo all sorts of things, but I'm not going to get nasty about it and assume that everyone who tokes up is going to turn into El Duderino, everyone who has an open relationship is a complete slut and has horrible ethics, and that those who are fat are automatically people who just eat all sorts of crap and never exercise.
Polly, the thing is, you came off exactly like a TBM with this. Leave the alcohol aspect out of it and look at your approach. You know how annoying as hell it is when a TBM starts in on you about your religious beliefs? You know how they mean well, and they genuinely are worried for you, but there's that undertone of judgement there? They mean well, they're trying to save you from an eternity of misery, but at the same time, you know they think of you exactly as the type of person who's going to hell/outer darkness, and as such, it's incredibly insulting? Yeah, that's exactly how this came off. That's why you got a reaction like you did. Just take that for what it's worth?