I drank while a teen.  I drank before becoming re-activated in my twenties.  After I left the church mid thirties I drank again.  Nothing good came of it, and I don't see why everyone is so thrilled about treading waters that will prove a good percentage of us alcoholics.

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My understanding and experience is that alcohol of itself is not addictive but some people have genetic dispositions to alcohol addiction and/or behavior patterns that make them more likely to become alcoholics.  If anyone knows alcoholism runs in their family, tread lightly or not at all into the realm of booze would be my advice.  Having said that, having a few drinks on the weekends, or with dinner does not make one an alcoholic.  Pacing yourself, drinking responsibly and not drinking and driving are the keys.
No offense, Pollypinks, I understand your concern, but you do realize the way that your post comes off?  Yes, some people may have issues.  People need to be smart about drinking.  Some people might need to be smart and realize they have an issue and need to not get nuts with things.  The thing is, we're not all one-sized-fits-all.  Just because you may have a problem with alcohol doesn't mean that everyone else does.  It's nice that you're trying to warn people to be careful, but please keep in mind that you're making massive assumptions about everyone else based on your own experience.  I am not you, and vice versa.  There are probably plenty of things I like that you don't and vice versa.  I'm not going to make assumptions about you, and I'm not going to judge you.  I ask the same respect in return, and I think others would appreciate that too.

I find it enjoyable and an extremely fascinating activity to enjoy a set of flavors and activities that were unnecessarily off limits for so long. We are responsible and restrained, and every time I have a drink I feel a bit like I'm raising my middle finger to the skies.

I think you make a good point Pollypinks.  I've never tasted an alcoholic beverage and I would probably be smart to leave it that way.  On the other hand, I've had cooking sherry in the kitchen for years and have never been tempted to drink any.  I've also had vodka in the house for a couple of years that I use as a solvent, and never had a desire to try that, despite going through bouts of depression.  So, I may be safe to try drinking something in a social situation

(or not).

It seems like for many months now it's almost been a sophomoric response that many have had to doing things they've never done before.  Have you not had extra-marital affairs but now wish to?  Have you not tried pot but now wish to?  Have you women worn thong underwear to go outdoors and get the paper?  I'm flummoxed as to the interest put here on drinking.  At a certain age, it makes no sense, whether you've done it or not.  My friends who were raised Nazarene never drank, and once leaving that church, never drank.  They've come up with the most tasty non-alcoholic drinks I've ever had, when I've been a guest in their home.  Do you still have children in the home yet still want to "tie one on" just because you never have?
If drinking doesn't interest you Polly, good, I get it, move along and don't bother with the group.  But your criticisms here come across as both condescending and self righteous.  Drinking alcoholic beverages is NOT on the same level as extra-marital affairs, illegal drugs or public nudity.  Trying a drink is not a breach of trust, breaking the law (if you're of age) or blinding the neighbors.  So alcohol doesn't interest you personally.  Good.  Move on to the next subject and stop detracting from those who do find an alcoholic beverage, taken in a responsible manner, as enhancing to life's experiences.
Mike, I will move on from this thread, as you suggested.  But what I've read here over and over again hasn't been someone looking to try one tasty beverage.  And when you choose the behavior, you have to realize other people will question it.  Get it?  Those who grew up outside mormonism and were subject to a lot of drinking know exactly what I'm talking about.  Methinks there's some extra sensitivity here simply because I've had the balls to talk about this subject the way tons of other people talk about it at work, at home, or wherever.  It comes with the territory.  If you're gonna play with drunken-ness, and don't tell me people here aren't, then accept the conversations that come with it.  It's not uncommon to become accustomed to using something to allay dealing with feelings.  Dad was drunk the first 6 months he came home from the war.  Simply because we grew up believing God would punish us for drinking doesn't mean we can't and don't punish ourselves with drinking, when stressors arrive.  The body does not accept two long island ice teas the way it does punch.
Oh, and before you kick me off LAM altogether, yes, drunken-ness is on the same level as those other behaviors.  It's still the leading addiction in our country, and until you've been in a family ruined by such behavior, that can and does lead to those other behaviors, I think you don't understand the ramifications.

Uh, polly... You *do* come across as self-righteous.. For years I have been AFRAID of alcohol because my biological family is totally a bunch of drunks. I thought that if I had even one drink I would become instantly like them. Then I left the church and curiosity got the better of me. I tried some, at first I disliked the burning feeling down my throat, but the flavour was all right. (Mike's Hard Green Apple) I did not become a drunk, hell, I've only been really drunk twice in the last 2-3yrs. Most of the time I drink slowly and get sleepy. Not even finishing a cooler. I don't even remember when I drank last,. a few months at least. If I start drinking more than a few nights in a row (and for the record, the kids are usually in bed when there's alcohol - unless the in-laws are around) I cut myself off for awhile. It's a matter of self control. Curiousity is normal, pinks. I learned that I hate wines and most rums, but like smoothies (brand escapes me right now) and love orange juice with amaretto.  And yes,  I do run around in my undies with the curtains open.

Bingo.  Again, self-control... moderation...  is the key to how to get through life in general.  Some people choose to be utterly self-destructive and don't handle themselves well.  The thing is, even if they didn't find alcohol, they'd probably do the same thing with other things.  


Exmormons often are interested in alcohol, simply because it's an experience that a large chunk of the general population is familiar with, but is completely foreign to somebody from Utah who hasn't got a clue about any of it.  People are genuinely curious and if they're like me, they want to understand everything about it, not just indulge in it.  The same goes for coffee, tea, decent cooking, clothing that doesn't cover 80% of your body, non-vanilla sex, non-juvenile media choices, cursing, etc.  Yes, some people will take all of these things to an unhealthy extreme while testing things out.  That being said, it's not a universal thing, and it's drastically unfair to assume that everyone who has any interest in any of those things is sophomoric and doing things stupidly.  Yes, some people will run amuck.  Just assuming that anyone who does _____ is _____ is unfair and incorrect.


My choosing to have a glass of wine with dinner sometimes is not reactionary to the church or being Mormon.  I'm way beyond that stage of healing.  I didn't have my first drink until over five years after I left the church.  My choosing to occasionally get drunk with friends is not a problem.  Note that when I say drunk, I do not mean passed out, puking, blacked out, or any of that crap.  I've learned my limits, and I know what works well and I respect myself to not push myself past that point.  Again, self control is key.  People choose different ways to live, and honestly, just because something doesn't work for one person doesn't mean that it doesn't work for everyone.  Similarly, I've got friends with open marriages and friends that openly swing.  I never could have a lifestyle like that, never would want to, but I respect them and know they're doing what's right for their families.  I can't condemn it.  I've got friends who toke.  Similarly, I have a laundry list of reasons why I won't indulge, but I'm not going to hold my issues over somebody else's head.  I know people who overdo all sorts of things, but I'm not going to get nasty about it and assume that everyone who tokes up is going to turn into El Duderino, everyone who has an open relationship is a complete slut and has horrible ethics, and that those who are fat are automatically people who just eat all sorts of crap and never exercise.


Polly, the thing is, you came off exactly like a TBM with this.  Leave the alcohol aspect out of it and look at your approach.  You know how annoying as hell it is when a TBM starts in on you about your religious beliefs?  You know how they mean well, and they genuinely are worried for you, but there's that undertone of judgement there?  They mean well, they're trying to save you from an eternity of misery, but at the same time, you know they think of you exactly as the type of person who's going to hell/outer darkness, and as such, it's incredibly insulting?  Yeah, that's exactly how this came off.  That's why you got a reaction like you did.  Just take that for what it's worth?  

You haven't done anything to merit either warnings or bootings from LAM.  Try to think of me more as a fellow member than as a policeman around here .  I rarely boot people.  In fact, I think there have only ever been 3 or 4 people ever suspended from LAM permanently and those were always for well documented reasons.  Don't be afraid to speak your truth, but also don't expect others to not counter it with theirs.  Thanks for being here Polly.
How could I possibly be offended after I've offended so many here?  For that, I apologize.  I just have strong feelings having seen the destruction involved, particularly as a nurse at the V.A. for 14 years.  And we don't know if we will be one of those until we take that first taste, do we?  And no, I'm not a recovering alcoholic.  I couldn't tolerate it.  But if I could, I would be.  Just so you can all pick on me equally, I spent my entire high school life smoking pot.  It alleviated the suicidal tendencies that bipolarism brought on.  I was not diagnosed then, and as a child, sitting and banging my head against the wall all day didn't bother my mormon parents at all.  So from my perspective, I can see the damage.  I just say, watch out for signs.  If it tastes so good you want it more and more, or, your behavior becomes obnoxious when you drink, those are tip offs.


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