Hi,
i'm Greta Privitera, a journalist of Vanity Fair Italy. I already wrote on this forum, and i had great answers and help from a lot of users. I will write an article about mormonism and women and i'm trying to see if there are women who are interested in sharing their story. right now i'm looking for a woman who has a lot of children, a woman that is not afraid to admit that she loves her 10 children but hates being forced into procreation based on her religion. someone who if given the chance to go back in time probably wouldn't have had 10 kids.

I know, this is not so easy.

Thank you so much for your time and help!

my email: gprivitera@condenast.it

Greta

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Wow, that is a specific target audience! Haha

Not sure why 10 children is essential but good luck on that -- it shouldn't to hard to find one. It will just be difficult to find one who isn't in so deep that she can think and talk rationally.

There are other compelling aspects to Mormon women; those who were conditioned to marry and bear children ASAP, whether they were inclined to or not. Or women who are told "There's one more spirit-child up there waiting to be born into his chosen family".  Or women who craved an education and a larger life but were compelled to sacrifice it for child-rearing. (I'm recalling the BYU engineering grad who asserted in the alumni magazine that her engineering degree has been super-useful as a stay-at-home in running the home and laundry chores. Not a joke - look it up!)

Dear Astrologic,

I am glad through the ex mormon webside to find out the real truth about how women are viewed and treated in the mormon church.


The way they view women is yet another reason for me to not be part of a religious institution that gives all power to men and confine women to bearing children and being servants their  and to ensure men'r posterity while being insensitive to women's health, balance, well being and welfare.

The only way i would have liked to have a family is with a good man who truly cared about me loved me and that i would have loved and who would have been unselfish enough and loving enough to decide with my consent the number of children we wanted to have, love and take care of ...

The day religions stop using women as servants to men and as child bearer and the day religions focused on turning men in loving caring respectful faithful husbands and fathers i'll join one.... until then i dont want any man or religion in my life ... i have seen up close the disasters that most men are and sexist religions or societies rear them to be ...

This state of affair is, i am certain, something most women of the world have acknowledged.

The position of the church regarding the status of women was made more clear to me when they gave the woman award to a woman who had 13 children .... it sucks ...;as if the number of children determines the quality of a family ... when the quality of family and motherhood should be determined by the way women are treated by their husbands and how both treat their children and raise them ..... the only virtuous that would be acceptable in my view would be love, fidelity, respect and the way everyone is treated not the number of kids a man fathers ....;

We all know how easy it is for men to father and how the greater part of raising the children falls on the mother with far too often little help from their husbands ....

It is very clear to me now that the mormon way to have a family is everything but my idea of what a true loving christian family should be .... and large does not fit in that description

It sounds like you have already drawn your conclusions.

you took the words right out of my mouth

Good luck.  Very few want to admit to going back in time and not procreating.  You are talking the numbers game here.  You don't need a Mormon for that.  Were I go go back in time, and I don't have 10 children, I wouldn't do it.

Too bad my mother still believes.  She would be perfect for your article.  She had 9 kids and told us all the time she had that many children because "God" told her to and not because she wanted us.  I ended up being the mother to my 8 siblingd because she didn't want the job.  If she wans't Mormon, she NEVER eould have had that many kids.  She always resented us because she felt like she never had a choice in the matter since she was doing what was expected of her instead of what she really wanted.  She is a very unhappy and negative person as a result of not making her own choices.  Very sad.

 

Jen

Jen, your mother did make her own choices.  There are lots of LDS women who don't have large families.  And she is responsible for her unhappiness.  She could easily tell her doctor at any visit how she is feeling, and a small load of antidepressant  might change the whole picture. My dad,90 has had every calling there is, including bishop.  He chose to have a vasectomy when I was five, leaving them with two children.  He repeatedly tells me they've been counseled in their meetings to stay out of the bedroom, and he believes this means birth control.  I had two children.  My grandparents had two children, because of use of condoms, and were temple workers.  So I'm just calling these women out, saying stop blaming past traditions and weird ideologies for giving birth.  I don't know if it would help, since it sounds like your mother prefers to feel sorry for herself, but she could and should see a doctor.

Hi Greta - I just sent you a personal email, but just in case you don't get that....I am feeling to tell my story, which involves almost everything you mentioned.

 

Sue E.

I meant "willing" not "feeling" -- Sorry! 

I agree with everything in your post except one thing.  It is not easy to be a father.  Just as you find delinquent mothers, you find some fathers like that, yet not all men in the church are neglectful of their children.  Please don't mistake me for someone being supportive of the institution.  I am not, and willingly left.

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