i'm Greta Privitera, a journalist of Vanity Fair Italy. I already wrote on this forum, and i had great answers and help from a lot of users. I will write an article about mormonism and women and i'm trying to see if there are women who are interested in sharing their story. right now i'm looking for a woman who has a lot of children, a woman that is not afraid to admit that she loves her 10 children but hates being forced into procreation based on her religion. someone who if given the chance to go back in time probably wouldn't have had 10 kids.

I know, this is not so easy.

Thank you so much for your time and help!

my email: gprivitera@condenast.it


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Having been excommunicated while attending Dartmouth College, I was frightened, felt isolated because I did not know anyone who was in my situation. My family saw me as "The Black Sheep," and I did not return to Utah for the church "court."  I was "born under the covenant" and am the only "non-member" on BOTH sides of the family. Now, 30 years later, I still feel quite separated and discarded, but I have found my place among extended family---friends, and see a few of my brothers occasionally when they come east. I have stayed on the east coast, never to live in the west again, which has helped. It is often lonely, especially at holiday times. Because I am a single woman who has two sons and never married, I have the blessing of my sons. I partnered with a wonderful woman for 20 years, and we now live separately and maintain a close, loving friendship. It was a loss when we parted, as her actually family, I was close to and enjoyed. That was a loss, too. But I am very close to both sons and to her. It is difficult to talk to about with people who were not raised as Mormons. 

It seems so strange to them, and I tire of trying to explain. So, I manage. I am a doctor and have traveled to Haiti for the past 14 years doing free medical clinics. I wish there were a group that I would fit into and could interact. I am fortunate to have gotten out of the church by the "seat of my pants" and am still healing from the imprinting and brain washing that began, as all ex-Moromons know, at a VERY early age. There are scars. And I am OK for the most part. It's been "one hell of a ride---I count myself as one of the fortunate,"  as the song by Marc Cohn goes.

I sense your loneliness.  I come in and out of that.  Sometimes don't even know how profound the loneliness is.  I left the church as a woman in her 50's, all 7 kids grown and married, and recently divorced.  You have a disadvantage living in the East as a former Mormon.  You have little opportunity of mingling in a group of exmormons because of the "numbers" back there and the fact that they are so spread out.  It does help, and even though I live in Oregon - not Utah - there's a pretty big group of us who meet up periodically.  Have you ever thought about attending the Exmormon Foundation Conference we have every October in SLC?  It's a great weekend with speakers and socializing.  If you're interested at all, all the info is on our website at http://exmormonfoundation.org/conference2012.html  Feel free to write me at sue97062@aol.com if you have any questions about it. 

The kicker that the church uses about children is you'll have all these people of your own to be with in the hereafter, and you don't want to miss out on all those generations of children being spawned.

I think your reasonings for women getting pregnant are rather meaningless.  Relegating them to dressing poorly and taking bad care of themselves  and families isn't actually what I would call the norm.  While many may have childen they didn't plan, or, didn't want at that particular time, I would say most women in the church love their children regardless of other circumstances, and that having the children as a meal ticket is rather low.  Stating the men being trapped further adds to an angry conversation that may not be the case in 90 some percent of the situations.  While the timing of of my children was far from perfect, the love and affection I felt for them was genuine, and I was indeed happy and content in their formative years to be with them.  My hygiene was not poor.  My friends with a plethora of children had no hygiene issues, nor did their children.

I do agree with what you are saying Susan.  But, isn't it possible, that by continuing to perpetrate our activities with anti-mormon groups we may be continuing our pain?  I had no such group 24 years ago, when my name was removed.  So I moved towards other groups that had nothing to do with mormonism.  It took a good 18 years go realize I wasn't on the path I wan't to be on, but, I still made good friends, and still learned a lot.  It's been so gosh darn long, the pain of leaving is hard to remember.  I do not suggest jointing another church.  My son is an atheist, and daughter a buddist.  And this is find with me.  For me, I wound up with univeralist beliefs in a Presbyterian church, hideously liberal, tons of social justice activities, a choir to knock your socks off, and also many atheists there, because they like being with all of us.  I think we can find  good feelings and emotional help in a variety of places that take us out of the mormon realm.

Hi everybody,
thank you for all the answers. Obvuously the "woman with 10 kids" was just an example. I read/heard a lot of stories like that, but not so many women wants to talk about it. Im not in front of my computer right now. As soon as i get in front of the computer i will write to all of you.

Sorry if my english isn't perfect :D

Greta Privitera

hi everyone, thank you all for the answers. naturally, "a mother with 10 children" was just an example. it was a simplification of the idea. i have heard/read many stories about women who in a certain sense made their choices (of which having many children) because they were influenced by their religion. certainly they are women who continue to love their children but had it not been for the mormon doctrine would have probably made very different family choices.

Is anyone interested in sharing this kind of story?
The article will talk about the difficulties of women in the religion. I have othe 3 stories of a lesbian ex-mormon, an ex wife of a polygamist family, and a children of a polygamist family.


If you don't agree with the article, it is fine. We live in a country (Italy) where the mormonism isn't well known as it is in america. Mitt Romney is a mormon. We are trying to figure out why a lot of people in America don't support this religion. We found out (and i talked with amazing women ex-mormon) that one of the problem is the role of women in this religion, that, i think you can agree with me, is still not respected. Again, if you don't agree with this article, it is fine.

We do have other articles about men, children and women in general. I'm not going to put the women in the martyrs throne. I'm just talking about one of the milion aspects of the religion

Astrologic -- after your previous post about being descended from Russian Royalty (who died WAY too long ago to be related in the fashion you told us), I have to discount everything you say -- which I was somewhat doing anyway after some of your very weird posts..  I believe you are a TROLL and/or "retarded", as you claimed (which I don't believe for a minute).  I would like ir id the moderator/owner of this list could inquire into this person's legitimacy for being on this list. 

What other list would it be besides this one, since I posted my reply to you here?  The owner of this site has given you a warning.  And I will add again that your posts have made you totally uncredible.  You do sound as though you have a mental problem, or you are simply a troll taking up space on this list with some outrageous claims.

Astro, you appear to be trolling this thread with dis-ingenuine responses.  Please desist or have your posts removed. 


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