My wife was telling me we are so blessed due to her garment wearing and buying her way into heaven { ok she dident put it that way}.

     I own my own shop and times are and have been lean. We have made ends meet and she claims it is because god is looking out for us. But i do not agree! If i fail she says it due to my lack  of something but my sucess is due to god. I work hard to provide and i dont feel that all good is because anyone { god or man } other than our had work as a team. God did not bless me with kids we created them out of love. God did not give me a gift with cars. I had to learn to repair them. I have struggled with the concept of god for 30+ years. I do feel that my hard work and love for people has got me to where i am.


How do you feel? 

Do you give god the credit for your hard work?

Do you correct family whene thay give god credit for your or their hard work?


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Its a pitty people do not give themselves the credit they deserve! Thanks for the comment


What if some random event happens that really benefits you, and it  has nothing whatever to do with your own work?


What would you call it and would you thank anything?

i would thank myself for being in a position to recive.

but no good deed goes unpunished  I mean rewarded

 if you are good, then good things happen to you

What if you are good but bad things continue to happen?

If you give yourself credit when you put in a lot of work and it works out,  what happens if you put in the same amount of work, i.e. playing by the rules, putting in effort,  etc. and things don't turn out how you want them to?    How then do you relate to yourself and others?


Admittedly, I had this  sort of thing happen to me recently, and it came as a shock to me that things did not work out in the way I expected them to.  Further, I believed that I was beyond the sort of black and white thinking that led to the shock.    (this must be why I feel compelled to ask these sorts of questions....)

 then I will accept my short comings as mine. I dont need to blame someone else for my failure or sucess.

It is call the random factor. check the work of John Allen Paulos. Random events are random but can have far reaching results.



I've never understood it either. If everything is God's plan then the bad stuff is too. I was talking to another mom after her miscarriage about a struggle with a co-worker of hers. When she first found out she was pregnant the co-worker said how wonderful it is that God decided to bless the woman with a baby. When the woman had the miscarriage the co-worker said  it must not have been meant to be and that God had taken the little baby home. She was perplexed- God gave her this baby just to take it away?

Even as a child I never gave God credit for what happened. Like you- I got good grades because I worked for them (although one of the Mormon girls I went to high school with assummed we both had A's, you know, cause we were believers so we must have had the highest grades in the class), I played the piano well because I practiced, I havekids because me and my husband had sex.

I have corrected a family member, but it turned out to be worthless. She just couldn't understand how someone couldn't believe in God after having babies. I had been showing her this website I go to and talk with other moms (well, really I had been reading it when she showed up) and this group I was part of non-religious/atheist/agnositc moms. My sister asked where they thought their babies came from if not from God. I just looked at her and said "her egg, his sperm". and then she asked where they thought they came from and I started to wonder why she couldn't see the pattern there. So I just told her some people follow science rather than religious beliefs. She still didn't get it.

I had a friend who thought it was sad I stopped believing and told me she believed in God and that it was hard to believe but you just have to. Honestly, that didn't work for me either. It shouldn't be hard to believe if he really is there.

I remember watching a news report a few years ago- it was about fires in San Diego.  A woman was standing next to her house, which had been skipped over, completely untouched, while the houses of her neighbors were completely destroyed (fires often 'skip' houses).  She was gushing over how god had blessed her and her family and she was so happy, while her neighbor, who'd lost everything, looked on in disbelief.  I don't know what was going on in the neighbors head, but I know what would have been going on in mine:

"You think he saved your house and let mine be destroyed?  What kind of a God is that????  Do you think he just loves you more than me???"

The whole thing was just ridiculous to me, and so incredibly arrogant.  Your wife may say that you are being blessed because of her garments and tithes, but what about your neighbors who's small business failed?  What if they were mormon and also wore garments and paid tithes?  And shouldn't your business fail because you are part of this website (ahhh, maybe that's why you said times were lean...)

The way I see it, this 'God has blessed us' fallacy is a perfect way to control people through fear- You have visible results, but you don't know what invisible things contributed to those results.  So you're always scrambling to do what the prophets say in hopes that you'll be 'blessed'.

If God has something to do with how awesome my life is right now, I offer him/her my sincere gratitude.  However, this god clearly isn't blessing me due to my righteousness, cause I haven't been active in the church for years...and yet, my life ROCKS!!!  So I'm not going to attribute my success to God, and I sure as hell don't have the audacity to attribute my neighbor's failure to their lack of faith.

As far as I can tell the whole thing is a crapshoot, but I'm so grateful I got a good deal!

I would equally ask why we give Satan so much credit for when things do go wrong, or for when people do bad things.  I see both Satan and God as scapegoats for our own responsibility.  For many people, it is frightening to think how much influence we are or can be responsible for in the outcome of events, and for this group, blaming Satan or thanking God removes them from the perceived heavy burden of responsibility.  For them, they see this as a win/win scenario, where they are likely never fully responsible for their actions, influence or outcome.  I however, have found much peace and empowerment in accepting and owning my limited areas of influence and control, and taking credit, good or bad, when it is due.

Agreed!  It's a way of escaping responsibility.  

Also a way of feeling important- I remember when I was in the church a bishop of mine told me that satan was working especially hard on me because I was such a powerful influential person, and that made me feel awesome!

Could also be a way of hiding from how completely random life is--- I think this is why our ancestors invented gods in the first place.  It was incredibly scary to be at the whim of nature/random acts, so they worshipped and sacrificed because it gave them a feeling of having some power over things.  Sometimes feeling like you have power can be more comforting than actually having it.  

Maybe having god as an intermediary between a human and the results of their life gives that human the perfect blend of feeling powerful (I can influence god by my actions- being faithful, sacraficing, worshipping) and blameless (Yes, I did that but satan pushed me to it, or yes, that happened, but because God is testing me).

It's a fun subject to think about.

I think it is also possible that believing in a God or something like that, can have the effect of focusing someone attention; I personally did not see that in my self, or others in Mormonism.  In some religions Gods are just really powerful powerful humans.  Like Bill Gates.....
Obviously if you are an atheist then your set of beliefs will never jive with your wife's.  To each his own.  Whatever makes them happy.  How do I feel?  Some days I feel very blessed, and because of my belief system, attribute some of that to it.  Do I give God credit for my hard work?  Good question.  I give him credit for keeping me functioning with 3 autoimmune disorders.  And if that's not the real case, it's actually helping me, and not hurting me, because it brings peace to my life.  Do I correct the family when they give God credit for my hard work, or theirs?  My husband doesn't give God as much credit as I do.  He's far too narcissistic.  Nobody else in my family, save tbm dad, gives God credit for anything, so there isn't much conversation going on about God period.  My children are grown and don't believe, so I leave them the hell alone.  My husband's faith isn't as strong, so I keep it to myself.  When dad wants to fight, I either have the energy, or I don't, and I tell him that.


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