Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going?

As an adult I have had several labels which identified me.  Primary among them was Mormon.  Next was American, then man; then and certainly not least, father.

Throughout my life I had misgivings about the Mormon church, but I trudged on because  I was a Mormon, after all.  My ancestors had been foolish enough to become affiliated with that church from way back in the 1830's, so it was in my blood.  Yet when reality hit me, the label of Mormon easily fell out of my life.  I'm still an American.  I'm still a man and a father.  I had been a husband  once, and that is still a label I could take on.

One label I am reluctant to pick up is that of Ex-Mormon.  I don't want it to define me.  Mormonism is a closed chapter in my life.  The fact that Joseph Smith was not a prophet is sufficient to close that chapter.  After disproving him 14 different ways, I don't need to keep disproving him.  He wasn't a prophet, so the Mormon church is a farce.  Since it is a farce, I don't need to keep up on the machinations of the current regime.  It can be fun, but seems to be a waste of effort.  There are many wonderful things out there to be involved in.  My eyes are open to such things.

I do find myself wanting to have some kind of ministry.  In the Ex Mo community there are many examples of people who do have a ministry.  Those ministries vary from providing a safe haven for like-minded people, such as this website; to those combating the Mormon church's plans for world domination.  Some have an atheist agenda, others a Christian agenda.  Some just have a personal agenda, whatever it might be.  I see being an Ex Mo as a stepping stone to my next level.  At this point in time,  I see my ministry being a Christian one, serving those around me no matter what their belief system is.  Learning how to achieve that is my next step.  In the meantime, I’ll be here and will be participating along with each of you.

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I feel that way too. I don't want to be defined by being an ex-mo either. It's interesting learning new facts, but I've disproved Mormonism enough. So I rather be called a former mormon (to me this seems like a gentler label if I must take one one at all).

If you don't want to define or identify yourself as an exmo, don't.  I generally don't.  Am I an exmo?  Yes, in the post-religious sense, but I don't go around identifying myself to anyone as such very often.  I don't have a problem with anyone who does identify themselves as such either.  One thing I have definitely learned since leaving Mormonism is to not internalize beliefs into my identity, as beliefs have become much more fluid to me, dropping some in favor of others as my understanding of the Universe changes.  My root identity is purely consciousness, the observer that witness the thoughts passing through my mind and deciding which paths to follow.  Glad to have you with us Armadillo.


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