This is something my mom said the other day. It had nothing to do with this particular conversation. She sums up my feelings.
"Why do people jump immediately on the "religious-blame" wagon the minute there is a conflict of pro-life or any other conflicting issue? What an easy cop-out for all fighting for their own cause to drop it at the door of religion ... shame to us as humans ..." my mom, Moira.
I wasn't going to post anything else here but feel that I must. I whole heartedly object to someone being diagnosed as "brainwashed" because their opinion doesn't exactly match someone else's.
I don't think I could have a cemented view on this topic unless I were actually faced with the situation.
When I was in the church, the thinking was done for me. If you didn't want a baby, you would not have had sex. Period.
If any woman found herself in a pregnant situation, she would be lumped into two groups. She would be seen as weak or selfish if she didn't want this miracle from god. Regardless of these very disgusting conclusions on who this woman is; The choice would not be hers to keep the child. Weak, Thoughtless Selfish woman would be greatly "encouraged" to give blessed child to the churches adoption system if there were no plans to marry the idiot who wouldn't wear a condom in the first place.
I saw too many girls marry the guys who knocked them up to keep the ward happy, even though they weren't happy in the slightest.
and I saw other girls dying inside because they didn't want to give their child up to the church. Maybe they thought it was their punishment.
Even when I was still on the membership rolls, I couldn't abide in this mindset.
My views on abortion are pro-choice.
As I stated at the beginning. I have never been faced with this situation so I can not be sure. But I'd like to think that no one takes this decision lightly.
No psychologically sound woman gets up in the morning 12 weeks into a pregnancy and says "This is too inconvenient! I'm supposed to get my nails done today and I don't want the girls at the salon to see me looking so fat! I'm going to the abortion clinic Now!"
I'm interested in the idea that it's just because some of you like babies too much because they're cute, obviously!.
Everyone loves babies. Babies are so cute and cuddly because if they weren't, the human race would not have survived.
What everyone needs to keep in mind is that babies grow up. (an equally obvious statement!)
A Grown-up is not cute at all. especially if they weren't raised properly.
So please watch the Maury show. Search your soul and see if you can find it in your heart to think those people are oh so cute.
For me, I don't think I could. However, if my life were in danger, I was raped, etc, beings that I have other children and a husband to be with I would consider it.
But I am pro-Choice. However I do not think it should be used for birth control or convenience. I think if we were more open about contraception and were realistic about how we teach our children, and in schools about sex and protection and prevention then it wouldn't be as big of an issue in the birth control factor.
With that said again I am pro-choice and it is not my place to judge someone for THEIR own personal decision.
I was at a homeschooling convention here in Orlando which was not supposed to have any religous affiliation. I saw a lot of shocking things at this convention but the worst was when a group of young girls (probably 10-15 yrs old) approched me and asked me to sign a pro-life petetion of some kind. When I said, "No, thank you." All of their jaws dropped...lol. And that was the first time I realised that since leaving the church I am pro choice.
Then last year we had a pregnancy scare and I concluded (after lots of debating) if I was pregnant I was going to have an abortion. I wouldn't say this was simply a matter of "Convenience." That word feels unfairly critical. Would it be "inconvenient" to have another baby? Well yes but it's deeper than that. Luckily that wasn't the case but if I needed to I would. I can barely keep my sanity with 2! Pro choice all the way...my body. my life. I make the rules now:)
30% of pregnancies are ended by "spontatious abortion," meaning there was a miscarriage. My view is that if "God" or "Nature" has the right to end a pregnancy then so does the woman. I would never encourage abortion but I would also never judge someone who had to make such a difficult personal decision.
Everyone keeps bringing up unwed teenagers as examples of the types of women to obtain an abortion. Married women get them too. Should a married woman be told she can't have sex just because she doesn't want a baby?
I can answer this as a woman who had an abortion when my daughter was five years old. My husband is my daughter's father, we were married at the time of the pregnancy (still are) and made the decision together to terminate the pregnancy. It was something we discussed deeply and came to over much thought. I do not have feelings of regret for this choice, and am grateful I live in a place where it is legal.
I feel that the option is open to anyone, married, unmarried, childless or parent.
I read this question a little while ago and had some reservations about speaking, since it's such a personal area, thank you for a safe place to do this.
Yeah, we were both out of the church. I was raised Mormon and he was a recent convert (basically converted to understand the deep brainwashing and emotional issues the religion left in me...it's harder to get Mormonism OUT of you than to actually get out of the religion, if that makes sense). I pretty much left the church at 15. My views on abortion didn't change, I always thought it was something that was personal to each woman. When it came to a point in my life I rested on that idea and didn't have issue with it. I did keep it from my still believing family, though. Not to hide but to cause less drama. I don't need anymore prayers for my salvation so I was quiet about my experience.
I don't have any shame or regret, I am someone with great mental illness (severely bipolar) and severe physical issues (from a car accident when I was 15, funnily enough it happened on the way to school from seminary, the bishops daughter was driving, crashed and I broke my neck). So while I wasn't physically threatened from actually -having- a child the life I'd have after was very threatened. My dear husband handles the majority of house and family life (he's bipolar as well but not as bad) and there just wasn't enough resources in our arsenal to bring another child into our family. Emotionally, physically or mentally.
Naomi, I relate to your bipolarism. I am bipolar, as is my daughter, and there is no way imaginable she could produce a healthy baby while staying on her meds. I'm not sure we could find anyone to adopt a baby with such anomolies that would come as the result of the meds she takes. Not to mention not everyone was put on this planet to be a nurturing mother sort of person. The whole pro-life thing is so one sided and smacks of total mormonism, minus the thought factor.
Sterilization is not covered by most insurance plans. It is not covered for those without insurance, and it is indeed expensive. I would have had my daughter sterilized at 18 if I'd had the money for it. I didn't. I wish our society would wake up to these sensitive female issues and become more supportive. I've always paid for her birth control, she's now 34, in a monogamous relationship, and the IUD was $600.00 with the help of the local District Health Dept. that many evangelicals are trying to shut down. Yeah, single payer insurance, with choices, universal care, you name it, our women would be light years away from what they are suffering now if they cannot afford insurance.
I don't think the issue should be forced either way. I don't think a group, individual or government should force a woman to have an abortion nor should anyone interfere in a woman's right to choose one if that is what she feel she must do. Every minute, at least one woman dies from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth – that means 529 000 women a year. In addition, for every woman who dies in childbirth, around 20 more suffer injury, infection or disease – approximately 10 million women each year. As long as this is the case, a woman must decide if she takes that risk. As long as we live in world where there are orphaned, obandoned, unwanted, abused and neglected children suffering and struggling to survive and living out all the consequences those conditions render, then women must have the choice and not be made to feel guilty for making that choice.