Here are some questions I had about the universe that arose while I believed in Mormon doctrine.
I know the answers now, but these are just some things I thought about and eventually these questions and others drove me away. What questions got you to leave?
The biggest one for me was the infinite regression of gods. I hit upon this as a boy scout laying beside the fire looking up at the night sky. I began to wonder about the vastness of space. Then I started to think about infinity, and how it has no beginning or end. Then I started to think that infinity is really cool, and all, but it applies to numbers and concepts, not real things. Then I thought about god, and his god, and his god, etc... I realized that at some point there had to be a beginning somewhere. That made no sense, so I chalked it up to a "mystery of god" that I'd understand after I died. Well, when I started questioning, guess what came to the forefront immediately? Yup, the infinite regression of gods.
As a girl, I was told I was to grow up, get married, and have children. College would be a waste since I was only going to get married and have children, fix meals, clean house, and be a wife and mother. I was a kid, and remember laying on the grass in the park in town, looking up at the clouds...thinking..."So, I grow up, get married, have babies, so they can grow up get married and have babies, so they can grow up, get married, have babies, and on and on and on........"What was the point!" ... my insides screamed.
It all seemed to totally lacking to me. Where was LIFE, where was ME and the wants and desires I had in all of this?" I was so young I didn't even know to put that into words, at the time they were just feelings of "flatness". Lack of hope.
What was the point of having feelings, wants, desires, a personality even?? If it was so all "set". Why were we made different? Why did someone in my class at school love math, and someone else loves sports and I loved art and music? Why the heck were we different if we couldn't develope it, dream about it, plan a future around it? For women you were outwardly encouraged to develop these things only to a point. That point being, to enrich your "family's lives when you were a wife and mother. Sheese. And that was about it.
Well, if you're a guy, like my brother's were, they had to think about how to support a family. And they were developing their interests into something they could make a living at. They were going to get to be who they were through their work in life. (I realize that's a simplistic statement) While, no matter what my interests were, my job was already defined. Wife and mother. Basically, baby factory and cleaning and cooking.
ya, gotta wonder what goes on in their hearts and minds.
I've also wondered if the GA are atheists. I even wondered that when I was still a partial believer. It wouldn't surprise me either.
Liber Mens, I like your comparison of the church and Communism. It is funny how mormons criticise communist states.