Before I left TSCC, I joined ldssexuality.com's forum to discuss sex with other LDS members to find help for my marriage, and to also try and help others mormons struggling in the bedroom. Anyways, I still frequent this forum to mostly give advice now. Ironically, or fortunately(depending on your perspective), sex has improved grately, even more so after leaving TSCC. Anyways, masturbation is a topic that often gets discussed over there and I recently posted my new perspective on masturbation to hopefully introduce a differing view that may awaken some of these mostly sex starved and suffering TBMs to the harm being caused by TSCC's view of masturbation and sex. I am including my post below as I am interested in other people's view of masturbation now after leaving TSCC.



"This will probably get me flamed but....my perspective on masturbation has changed in recent months and I now understand it to be a beautiful gift that God has given us, and not something that should inflict guilt or be avoided like the plague. Here's my justification for this: God created our bodies and the natural instincts for sexual release.

"Masturbation is neither damaging physically, emotionally, or spiritually when viewed from the perspective that God gave us this release as a way to experience pleasure and joy, both with our spouse, and by ourselves when we are needing a quick high or upper. Utah is the most depressed state in the union with more use of anti-depressants per capita than any other state, and has one of the highest suicide rates. I have learned through experience, and from understanding the psychology of the human brain that the emotion of guilt is programmed by one's upbringing, environment, and society. There is no scriptural condemnation of masturbation (I dare you to find one that I can't explain as not actually referring to masturbation).

"If one was raised with a healthy perspective of masturbation (and sex in general) as a way to cheer oneself up when feeling down, or what ever need there might be, even if just to feel happy, guilt would not be a consequence but only the self esteem building buzz and natural high. After all, if you can't learn to love yourself, with your flaws and all, you will never truly be able to love others.

"I learned earlier this year that my wife has masturbated since she was a teen and had never felt guilt about it until I told her of my struggles with it, which then introduced the idea to her that maybe it's bad, but even then she never had that guilt that I was programmed with. Young women aren't drilled about masturbation the way young men are, which substantiates my point that guilt from masturbation is a programmed response by one's upbringing/environment. Of course woman have even greater masturbation sessions then men since they are naturally multi-orgasmic, but that didn't bring about more guilt to my wife but lifted her higher and kept her sane through the first 7 years of marriage where we were failing to communicate and achieve erotic sex together.

"So there's my take on masturbation being a god given right to help us love ourselves, experience joy, and further our ability to love and experience joy with others.



"I wanted to bring up the real harm being done by the programmed guilt to masturbation: suicide.

"There are young people, mostly males, who, try as they might, are never able to gain "control" over their masturbation "problem" and because of the strong programmed guilt response, feel as though they are worthless, depression sets in, and then boom, they are gone, dead, commit suicide.

"Here are some though provoking statements to ponder: Maybe our sexuality, at least in regards to masturbation, is not something that needs to be "controlled" in the sense that, oh no, can't do it. If masturbation is something so natural that nearly all teens somehow learn to do it, whether by themselves, or from outward influences, then just maybe, as no scriptural evidence to the contrary suggests, masturbation is an innate, natural, god-given instinct that is meant to help us love ourselves, experience pleasure and joy, which both enable us to love others and experience the same with our spouse. I for one discovered masturbation without even knowing what it was, not having heard anyone describe it, nor tell me how to do it. It just so happened that the jets and water moving around my penis in my parents jacuzzi tub was enough to set me off. I know others have discovered this through similar means.

"I am not condoning masturbation above sex with your spouse, but putting forth the argument that masturbation is a natural, god-given gift that enhances our joy and self esteem, and our relationship with our spouse and others. Modern research regarding masturbation has also proven the same and other benefits to masturbation. See this article: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,401722,00.html Even much of the animal kingdom masturbates including dolphins, dogs, cats, and others.

"Anyways, increased happiness and even lives saved, can result from changing the paradigms around masturbation to a healthier, god-given gift perspective."

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This site is full of some great articles about sex post mormonism as well as sexual repression in mormonism: http://www.i4m.com/think/sexuality/
How does your wife feel about your change of views, being that she's still a TBM? Does she also feel more freedom to express herself in this way?
That's great. I hope that continues as it may be a key to her seeing some of the damage TSCC does to relationships.
i'm having an illicit affair with my Hitatchi... well it would be illicit except that i love detailing our trysts to my husband when i come out of the bedroom :)
Do those vibes work for men too?
I believe it was the Goddess Nike that said "Just do it"
haha! Well maybe I just will!

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