Okay, so I haven't been very present on this site for a while.  I found it at a time when I really needed the support, but have come to a point now where I am confident with my views and not needing the reinforcement anymore. 

That being said, something happened last night that bothered me, more then I thought it would I think, so I wanted to share it here and see what you guys thought.

To preface, I haven't gone to church for years.  I have moved twice now since the last time my records were moved and also gotten married and changed my name.  So last night at 8pm we got a knock on our door.  It threw my husband and me off guard, we live on the 3rd floor of an apartment building, it was an hour before our bedtime (we work early), we were watching a movie enjoying a cocktail, and we weren't expecting anyone.  So he gets up to answer the door.  There are two old men standing there and they said they were looking for me, except they used my maiden name.  I didn't want to get up to go to the door, I was on the couch with a blanket.  I was only wearing my nightie, as I was getting ready to go to bed, and did not feel comfortable at all getting up to greet two old men half clothed.  I answered from the couch that that was me and they said they were from the ward and something about me going.  I felt totally taken off guard and so did my husband.  I didn't know what to say so I just said, I'm not interested and that was that.  Afterwards we felt like we could have been a little nicer, but really it would have been the same outcome either way. No matter what they had to say to me I would still not be coming to church. The fact that I do not go should be an indicator that I am not interested! I do not consider myself mormon at all anymore (I'm an atheist) and the only reason I haven't removed my records is to maintain the peace with my family.  It shook me up a little, I did not appreciate it. I don't appreciate strangers knocking at my door late in general, let alone the local bishopric. I don't know what they expected showing up unannounced late to my home to bombard me about church.  What did they think was going to come from that? It left me shook up with a bad taste in my mouth.

Then there is the issue of how they found me.  I wouldn't be suprised at all if it was my dad or my grandpa that sent my records or address and tipped them off.  They have done it before a few years ago when I was single and they are both in the bishopric.  I was just wondering if there is any other way that they can find you besides someone tipping them off?  This whole incident alone makes me reconsider sending in my resignation.  Maybe I am overreacting, I guess it wasn't a huge deal, but it really bothered me.  It bothered my husband as well.  He has never been a member and he thought it was rude and intrusive.

I think I just needed to vent about that.  Any thoughts would be appreciated.  Thanks for listening!

So guess who showed up to my house just last night! Two young girls from some local  youth ward, using my maiden name again!  I didn't quite catch if they were from a singles ward or not, but I'm not single.  They were young and nice, but come on!  They tried to give me a flyer for a rock climbing activity.  I was going to just take it from them to be polite, but really I'm not going to even consider going so I just said no thank you and let them keep it. It was snowing like crazy too, they should have been home and not out knocking on strangers doors.  I was nice though, I stood in the door with my huge tattoo in their face and told them to be careful out there.  Sigh, I think it's time to send in my resignation letter. 

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I feel for you... It is hard to tell people what they don't want to hear... But the truth is not always easy... But it is so much better than a lie... Being all  bottled up inside and not saying anything is not healthy. Letting it out is a relief. Feeling bad about the truth and being open is (non-Mormon and never been Mormon)  like survivors guilt. You moved on found that life that fits you. They are still in and you kinda feel bad for saying things that they really didn't want to hear... It is okay.

You were honest and truthful. No one not even God him self would ask any more from you. They were uncomfortable hearing the truth from you. Don't let the time you spent in that church or any other church ..make you regretted an encounter that brings out honest and truthful information, honest feelings and real reasons, for leaving any church. We have freedom of religion fought for by great men and women who laid down there lives to give you the right to freely chose or not to chose a religion... don't let them take your freedom away....


Thank you, Trisha
I have slowly been able to talk about my feelings and opinions about the church with other people besides just my husband. It's been a real struggle but I know that the truth will set me free.I have skirted around the issue with family. But there have been moments where I have been able to talk about it. Last month I was finally able to tell my Mom that I have stopped going not because of or for my husband.But because I realized that deep down that there are aspects and teahings about the church that concern me and that I don't feel comfortable teaching or talking about with my sons. Telling anyone especially her terrified me but it went better than I could've ever expected. It did feel good to let it out to my neighbors even if it was one big jumbled intellectual and emotional fiasco.

Thanks again

Feel good about what you did.  Nosey and pushy bastards need to know who and what they are.  Ya did good, ya did fine.

its your life and these pretentious pompous jerks that want you to explain to them why you feel, think, and do as you choose to in your own life need to get a chainsaw circumcision!

Don, and not a bit ashamed. :)  Now I am going to eat some hamburger helper and drink iced tea! :)


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