I was chatting with someone on LAM the other day, and I asked them to describe the happiest day in their life. They told me it was the day they decided to commit suicide. I thought about that and, in some distorted way, I could see how someone could feel that way.
It made me wonder how we can live at this moment in history and be so unfulfilled. Compared to our ancestors, we live our lives as Gods and yet, we seem oblivious. A few years back, I started reading an article about the work they were doing on Fremont Street in Las Vegas. I was very familiar with the place and thought about the brilliant minds that came up with the concept. Shortly after it opened, I went with a friend of mine to experience it for myself. It was everything I had hoped for and, for me, a technological marvel. The sight of people all inadvertently looking up towards heaven was as captivating for me as the electronic display overhead. When the light show finished, my friend looked at me and commented that it was kind of blurry. I reflected for a moment on the millions of dollars spent and the work done by the architects and the thousands of other people involved in working on this display. For all the work they had done, my friend was not impressed. At the same time, I was corresponding with a friend of mine in a foreign country who described the joy she felt from hearing the sound the snow made under her feet that day as she walked from her house to visit a neighbor.
I wonder how much joy we ruin by always raising the bar a little higher than we can jump. I am happily married now, but left a marriage and other long term relationships because, in the end, their expectations were always greater than I could ever achieve. What I have come to realize is that it isn’t always someone else raising the bar, and most of the time we are the guilty ones.
Are we capable of being in this moment and marveling at the world we live in? It would be fun to hear other people’s thoughts on this subject, and also to have people describe the happiest day of their lives. Since getting married and having children are such obvious choices, it would be nice to hear about something simple.
I absolutely agree. When I was a kid my family moved to northern Canada for a homesteading program. When I recount the experience now everybody focuses on one point. We had no running water for five years. This was the wilderness, I have eight siblings, and we had very little money. We saw and experienced things both grand and horrendous that I lack words to describe. That is saying a lot because those that know me know that I rarely lack for words. Yet, what matters to most is that I once crapped in an outhouse in the middle of the winter. I suppose that matters. I gained the capacity to live in the moment on the homestead.
I have lost it since but have relapses of living in the moment from time to time.
Is the human race engrained to always want more? Are we doomed to seek upgrades whether it's a faster car, a bigger house, a more powerful drug, a taller more dangerous mountain to climb, or a better more stimulating orgasm?
Sometimes I think we forget that happiness is not something we plan to do; it's something we do right now. Right now might not be the best moment in time but it is the only moment we have.
Was this post good enough?
"I think we forget that happiness is not something we plan to do; it's something we do right now. Right now might not be the best moment in time but it is the only moment we have."
Well said. To think I believed that an actual Plan of Happiness existed for all these years.
You're still here aren't you? I am allowed to have my opinions in the forum. My email was more specific about approaching me in regards to comments, suggestions or concerns on LAM, and not in posting your opinion in the forum. Is this piece an attempt to stir up controversy and hate? I don't see how sharing this is contributing to this topic, nor is it on topic with what has brought you happiness in the past, rather than some future unlikely event that only perpetuates the suffering you claim to be against.
Does a person who has never contemplated suicide need to do so before they can understand/comprehend another persons personal experience? Does a person need to have been a Mormon to understand/comprehend what exmormon's personally experience?
When I was around the age of 13 my world seemed so hurtful that I told my mom I wanted to die. I can understand/comprehend how someone may feel that suicide is way to free themselves of pain. I can also see if from the view point of Bar that it could be construed as abusive and unnatural. My own personal view is that it can also be construed as a a selfish act and so hurtful to those who remain living.
My happiness to a degree is dependent on my fellow human beings. But my happiness is determined by me. It's very subjective. My perceptions and view of reality shape my happiness. I'm happy when I'm with friends who share a common bond. Life After Mormonism brings me some happy moments.