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Permalink Reply by BlueEyesBrittany on October 14, 2011 at 12:56am

You should not worry about the virgin part too much ...... at least you live safely and no one can cheat on you or disappoint you or give you any unwanted stds or worse HIV;

I am 58 and by now know what the world is like and trust me, with a few rare exceptions, men are not worth the pain and even less the risk. There are not too many good men around .... and to be true, i dont think that mormonism with its past polygamous and sexist history turn men into the kind of men women would love to have as husbands and fathers to their children .... mind you, the rest of the men are not worth much either ..

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Permalink Reply by Draben on October 14, 2011 at 5:36am

Sounds like you made some bad decisions in your life to make you so jaded and sexist.  That's sad, really.  I bet you count yourself as one of the few good women around, but somehow I don't think most men (even the good ones :) would agree with you. 

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Permalink Reply by Wes on October 14, 2011 at 2:08pm

You are so right Draben, I have been totally screwed over by 2 woman in my life myself even the mother of my child but I have to realize they were my decisions just as it was my decision to stay a member of this LDS cult. I had to start taking responsibility for my own actions and not blame others or I would always be mad. Stereo typing individuals is just another form of predudice (IMO). But on the other hand I totally understand someone's ill view towards the opposite sex we are so different in our "get what we want ways" but why is it so neccesary to be with someone else anyway. I really don't get the neccesity in all this marriage stuff or any committed relationship. I'm finally having some peace that I could never find in a marriage. It was always some kind of ownership which doesn't say anything to me but screams insecurity,codependency. Being single is way more peacefull. I don't mean disassociating from people just not some "special" you're mine relationship. I don't say this angrily, I am serious, I have been happier than I ever was since my divorce in 2007. I still see people, raise my child, associate with family, co workers, friends etc. but I make my own decisions and when I do it's final no one to hinder the road I want to tread. Roz, I totally understand I felt that I could never take them discusting garments off or I would be doing something  very wrong. When I removed my name from LDS inc. I gave like 20 pairs of those crazy garments to my dad cause he said they needed to be burned so the "symbols" wouldn't be seen! ( like some1 is gonna go through my garbage at the dump and take them right? lol) You couldn't pay anyone I know to wear that discusting old fogey crap. lol I got my Rolling Stones red boxers on right now The ones with the big tongues all over them and I'm loving life lolol. Peace out Wes...  (hope I didn't offend anyone)

P.S. I still Love Woman they are so beautifull  :)  Just not to be tied down...

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Permalink Reply by BlueEyesBrittany on December 7, 2011 at 12:43pm

No..i..did..not..make..just..bad..decisions...

My.;dad..left..my..mom..with..6..kids..and;.he;.was..violent...I;.had;.an..uncle..who..tried;.to..rape..me..

A;..mormon..guy..whom..i..dearly..loved..invited..me..though..he..was;.married...I..dont..know..what..he..wanted

from..me;.but;.surely..not..the;.same;.thing;.as..I...I..dumped..him..because..i..was..so..disgusted.

One;.of..my..sister..was..killed..by..a..moroccan....and;.we..were..labelled..racist.;for..daring;.to..bring..legal..action

to..see.;what..happened.

I.;almost;.married;.a..guy..who...treated;.me..like..shit...and;.ripped..Off..by..another;.one..who..cheated..on..me.`

as..an..added;..bonus..

So...dont..please..dont..judge..before;.you.have;.the..fulll..facts

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Permalink Reply by Draben on December 7, 2011 at 12:48pm

"with a few rare exceptions, men are not worth the pain and even less the risk. There are not too many good men around" 

How about you take a bit of your own advice.  Do you really think your experience is typical? 

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Permalink Reply by Roz on October 14, 2011 at 11:52am

I really like this thread/discussion!  Way too many things to thank Mormonism for-lol.  Lets see....

 

I had totally unrealistic expectations for men, and people in general including myself, most of my life- Thanks Mormonism!

 

I am very small framed and had to wear an extremely restrictive worredrobe for my late teen yrs and early to mid twenties and all through my 5 pregnancies to cover those f-ing garments!  Ugh- thanks Mormonism! 

 

I rejected many good people in friendships and clung to people who dropped out of our friendship like I was going to give them a terrible sickness, when they found out I had left.  -Thanks Mormonism. 

I spent countless hours of my life reading literature that was lies while I could have been educating myself with anything but that.  -Thanks Mormonism

My life was run by guilt and fear for many yrs- Thanks Mormonism!

I had more children than my mind and body could realistically handle (love them totally and completely btw)-Thanks Mormonism!

Made most all important decisions in my life based on what the authorities "counseled" for many yrs.  My life would be drastically different in many ways had I not had that insane guild!  -thanks Mormonism! 

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Permalink Reply by Lileah on October 14, 2011 at 8:39pm

Roz I can totally relate to your post! Following the "counsel" of the leaders, spending lots of time with feeling guilty OH YA they are good for that aren't they? NOTHING was EVER good enough no matter what it was. One consel I followed pretty good was writing in my journal, I sometimes go back to reading how brainwashed I was! They are HILARIOUS and sometimes CRAZY to read!! I remember when I was struggling with fitting into the church (though I was BornIntoCult) and was able to have some "deep thinking moments' it actually backfired! While writing about my struggles or forcing myself to believe helped me ACTUALLY realize what a farce the Mormon Religion was! I didn't need to read anything (though I did get on the web and scour) about Joe's lies and lack of evidence of the BOM it was already right in front of my face! When I took the step of removing the blinders and freeing myself, that's when I began to truly live and be comfortable with myself, my husband, my family! Reading over my past I see the guilt, the suffering, the shame, the awful depressed person I was becoming because I couldn't follow the "commandments" it was breaking me down MORE than BUILDING me up! Pretty interesting we had these common issues. I wonder how many other TBM women feel this way and don't know why!

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Permalink Reply by Lileah on October 14, 2011 at 8:39pm

Roz I can totally relate to your post! Following the "counsel" of the leaders, spending lots of time with feeling guilty OH YA they are good for that aren't they? NOTHING was EVER good enough no matter what it was. One consel I followed pretty good was writing in my journal, I sometimes go back to reading how brainwashed I was! They are HILARIOUS and sometimes CRAZY to read!! I remember when I was struggling with fitting into the church (though I was BornIntoCult) and was able to have some "deep thinking moments' it actually backfired! While writing about my struggles or forcing myself to believe helped me ACTUALLY realize what a farce the Mormon Religion was! I didn't need to read anything (though I did get on the web and scour) about Joe's lies and lack of evidence of the BOM it was already right in front of my face! When I took the step of removing the blinders and freeing myself, that's when I began to truly live and be comfortable with myself, my husband, my family! Reading over my past I see the guilt, the suffering, the shame, the awful depressed person I was becoming because I couldn't follow the "commandments" it was breaking me down MORE than BUILDING me up! Pretty interesting we had these common issues. I wonder how many other TBM women feel this way and don't know why!

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Permalink Reply by Roz on October 14, 2011 at 10:43pm

Lileah- too funny about your journal- I am right there with ya!!  I almost want to throw away my old journals cuz they are so revolting, but maybe someone could use them in some research or something-lol.  I actually had to become severely mentally ill-suicidal because I was "not good enough" before I was able to question the whole story the church tells, and their theory of God and whatnot.  I was at a pretty low spot in life, but had done EVERYTHING possible to be the BEST I could be and I was still not "receiving promised blessings".  Looking back I cannot believe I survived it, thankfully it has made me stronger and super aware and educated of mental illness and much more.  Bottom line is, Mormonism is total bunk, and turns out bad things happen to good people no matter what.  Just a law of the universe.  I am ok with that.  I was not ok sitting around thinking that I somehow "needed this trial to grow" or "God will not try you more than you can bear" or  I was being punished for some reason God knew and I didn't.  I could not understand if there was a God in the sky that loved me sooooo much, then why all this suffering that apparently this Jesus guy already suffered for me!  Really Weird!!  Logic showed my brain the way out thankfully.  Of course the church has all kinds of crazy cover up after cover up and explanations of WHY.  I became suspicious when my mental health problems became something the church was willing to explain away or just say nothing at all.  I heard back from the General Authorities I had wrote to-total joke, btw, AND It was during this time that I went to the temple for the last time.  I had always felt peace in there, (probably cuz there are no kids allowed-he he)  But this time, I almost couldn't wait to get home and number one, take off my garments, and then tell my husband about the confirmation I had from my inner self knowing this was all wrong and crazy!   I don't think I will ever forget that day.  Quite a turning point.

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Permalink Reply by Cora Judd on December 8, 2011 at 12:02am

"...about the confirmation I had from my inner self... "

Love that - so true.

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Permalink Reply by troyboy1 on October 17, 2011 at 8:48pm

I am going to make a fortune printing the following on my old garments:

"I was a mormon for 33 years and all I got was this t-shirt".  Think I could sell that on the LAM store?

 

Thanks, mormonism!

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Permalink Reply by Cora Judd on October 18, 2011 at 6:44pm

I was going to say "I'd buy one!" then I realized I wouldn't! It'd make a great graphic though -- if you'll do the photog I'll do the Photoshopping!

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