I was raised in the church, and found my way out in my early 20s. I have been married to a wonderful man for two decades we have raised 2 amazing kids, To our families dismay we never had them baptized and have raised them to have open minds and to learn about many religions and scientific facts.
Our biggest problem is the members around them ie at school who have shunned and or judged them because the are not LDS. One parent even went so far as to cancel a homecoming date between her son and my daughter because "she was not date able." It has been absolutely heart breaking to have my kids struggle because they are made to feel like they don't come from a "good" family. When in reality I know how lucky they are to have never had that type of brainwashing.
Help me out here any advise, or stories to help make me feel better or just not so alone.
Wow. I started raising my 4 children in the church and left mid stream. I think they were 10, 9, 4 and 2. So, they have some exposure. I moved to the southern states, and my son was shunned by his best friends parents in grade school, because he was not "born again!". The parents even called me and my husband over to their house to tell us why their son could no longer play with our son. And then of course, they spent the rest of the time, witnessing to us. They were Baptists. So, it's all over. You don't have to live in Zion to be shunned. When they lived back in Zion, my older son had the same situation of a girls parents telling her to break up with him, because he was not LDS. Life hurts, and ya know, I don't think I could've stood them for in laws anyway, (if it would've gotten that far) Most LDS just cannot fully accept people not of their faith. It's most always a conditional acceptance. Even back in Zion now, my sister's love me, but don't have much to do with me. And when they do, I know it's under the thing about "family's come first" .... that they allow themselves to hang out with me, go to lunch with me...etc. But to just call me on the phone and visit...nah. They are too busy with their many, many children and church activities, let alone their husband. I left the church and that's basically threatening to them. I'm loved, but suspect. And I'm aware that they are unconscious of how they are being.
So, all that was to let you know, you're not alone. Life goes on. My kids are grown and married and having their own lives, a few of them are having international lives, having married other races and people from other countries. It's very expanding and interesting. And they are not burdened down by crazy beliefs. They are happy, healthy and open minded. I ended up surrounding myself with life long friends who are not LDS. I couldn't give a rats ass about the church any more. That's just some made up thing, like so many other things, that people in the olden days came up with to control other's and make them be like them! Good Grief. Re frame these hurts and pain of your children's as the best things that ever happened to them to keep them away from that narcissistic group of people.
Just some thoughts here.