Survey: Is LAM's privacy influential in deciding to join, stay or leave?

In exploring how to be a more accessible community to those leaving and recovering from Mormonism, I would appreciate your feedback on whether Life After Mormonism (LAM) being a private community (only main page can be viewed without registration) had any influence on deciding to register (positive or negative).  Originally the site was made private to encourage those looking for place safe from malicious lurkers, but has not been determined whether that has actually been achieved.  Please take a moment to respond to the 3 questions below as I consider moving LAM back into the public domain to reach a wider audience, while maintaining the options for you to make your profiles, photos, videos, and blogs private, essentially making it possible for people to lurk in the forum without having to register.

  1. Did LAM being a "private community" factor into your decision to join?  Please explain if yes.
  2. Understanding that you still maintain control over the privacy of your profile, photos, videos and blogs, would you have any objections to LAM moving back to a public forum?  Please explain if yes.
  3. Would returning to a public forum cause you to leave LAM?

Other considerations as you contemplate these questions and this possible direction for LAM:

Currently, anyone can register on LAM so long as they have a valid email and can answer the quiz and captcha correctly under any anonymous name they want, thus making detection of malicious lurkers difficult even now, but has not been a problem so far.  Going to a public forum would not change this and the house rule of personal respect would continue to be enforced as it is now, suspending any users who become repeat offenders (has only had to happen once so far).  Your profile privacy can be set to Anyone, Members Only (registered users), or Just My Friends.  Pictures, videos and blogs can also be set to Just My Friends, or even Just Me to keep privacy protected there, or to have private discussions with just your friends.  The Chat room will continue to require registration to both lurk and post.  Please feel free to ask any questions you may have, or to share any additional comments (positive or negative) regarding LAM returning to a public forum.


Edit 4/3/2011: Resurrecting this tread as I am reconsidering the direction of a mixed public/private community.  If you haven't responded previously, please feel free to make your opinion known now.


Edit 4/9/2011: LAM will become a mixed public/private community with each user being responsible to set their profiles, and content to private if so desired.  This change goes into affect 4/24/2011.  More details here:

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1. No 

2. No

3. No

Nothing to hide, nothing to feel ashamed about, nothing that could persuade me to change my mind.




I would have no problem with it being public but I think that people should still have to register to post.  I don't know if you accept registration manually or automatically (it happened fast for me but you were online at the time so.....) but I think it should most definitely be manual so that you can read the "why" question to try to pick out any trolls.

As it is, I did change my name to an anonymous name a few days after I registered anyway because I realized that there was a possibility of family being on here and I deal with enough drama with them and the church not to have them seeing my intimate views of sexuality and spiritualism on here.  So I'm anonymous anyway.  :)

Yes, even as a public forum, registration would be required to post.  The only major difference between public and private is that people will be able to lurk anonymously without having to register to read the forum, but if they want to post a reply or topic, they will still need to register.
I don't care who knows what. Time is my biggest issue; hard to keep up with everything.
No.  I prefer anonymity but don't see how registering will keep out malicious lurkers, whatever they may be.  I just don't see my Bishop lurking around here hoping to catch me in something he can use against me.  But I can always hope.
That is a good point.  Those we would most fear lurking here or finding us out are the ones least likely to even dare enter the site.

The one I fear never has been Mormon.  He's just someone who loves to consistently poke fun at me for being raised in the church, even though I'm no longer a part of it.  It makes me crazy.  He frequents these types of sites too, he's probably on here already and I just don't know.  As for the ones least likely to enter the Lurch says, "I can always hope."  :P


None of this has anything to do with going public though and I think it's a good idea.  Those that aren't quite ready to register for an exmo site may still find solitude being able to read what we have to say.

It don't make me no never mind

1. Yes.  At first, when I was still researching how to resign I found this site.  I wanted to read but wasn't able to.  A couple days later I came back and registered.  That said, this was the first site I registered and posted to.  Afterwards (a few weeks) I registered at


2. No.  I only ask that I be notified prior so that I may change my settings and nickname to be more anonymous.


3. No.

That's one reason why I'm thinking it would benefit more people to not require registration to read. If/when we make the change, I will for sure send out several warnings and details on how to modify your settings.

1.) Nope, cuz a friend from postmo referred me here. But, personally, I like the's a "safe" place. But then, almost everyone that knows me, knows I'm "out" (of tscc).


2.) Naw, cuz I think, like the others, anybody who's anybody in tscc wouldn't be caught dead on an ex-mo site! But, I just dropped my real name and left "Pixie"....which is okay cuz I think all the regulars here know the "real" me! :) Oh, and I changed my profile pic...just for fun!


3.) No! Wild horses (or unicorns) couldn't drag me away!! This is one awesome site, Micah!! :)

1. No

2. No

3. No

I'm getting too old to care what any of my mo family/friends might think, so for me it doesn't matter.

I know it's not the same for everyone, of course. I wouldn't have been able to say that 3 years ago.


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