Exmormon.org is likely the longest standing online community of exmormons and I commend them for so many years of service to those leaving the LDS church. What confuses me though is their long standing policy against forum posts linking to exmormon content outside of their domain. Except for a single dedicated page for exmormon blogs, they disallow and delete forum posts intended to share information from the greater online community. They are so serious about such offenses that they maintain keywords and domain names on black lists to automatically block submission of posts containing those terms or domains. If you try to get around this by manipulating the domain name, they still end up deleting the thread.
I don't know if they are worried about competing forums drawing away their regulars, suffer from paranoia of law suits, or are just extremely cautious. Regardless, it has been my observation that this policy of exclusion hurts more than helps their cause. When I left the church, I encountered Exmormon.org before finding any other communities. I was a regular for about 5 months until I ran into the wall of not being able to share and invite people to LifeAfterMormonism.net when I first created this social network. My posts only lasted 30-60 minutes before being deleted and later my domain blacklisted. That was the beginning of the end of me participating on that network.
I know of many others who left Exmormon.org for similar reasons of censorship, rudeness and playing favorites with RFM celebrities. They are still the most active forum from my observation, but their numbers aren't what they once where before upgrading their forum software and resetting their board. It is my hope and invitation for the admins of "Recovery from Mormonism" to end this practice of exclusion, censorship and denial of the greater online community. I am willing to bet that putting an end to this policy would bring many people back to participating more often in sharing on the boards. Many of the other communities would in turn offer links back to Exmormon.org to demonstrate unity and appreciation for their contribution to the whole.
If we are truly in the service of helping people move on from Mormonism, we should be open and willing to guide people to the many online resources best able to fit those needs. Not every community matches individual needs or personalities and so naturally we all gravitate to where we find our most natural online home during our transition and life after Mormonism. While I won't hold my breath for Exmormon.org to make this change, I will be pleasantly surprised and grateful if and when they switch to inclusiveness of all things exmormon.
Thanks for your comment InPursuitofHappinness. It's really quite frustrating. I've had two threads deleted there today and no responses to the two emails I sent Susan I/S either. They (the admins) don't even follow their own rules some of the time. I might just develop a personal vendetta over my frustration with that board. Probably better for me to just drop it and forget they even exist, like they pretend about the rest of us...
" Susan I/S
Those that have been around a while will remember the horror that ExMoSocial became. Admin trolling their own board, reading PMs, illegal activities and a whole bunch of things I will not go in to.
We learned a valuable lesson.
Our rule of thumb is get something up and running for a year, we will keep an eye on it and decide then. Must be free, open to read (we understand how hard it is to run a no registration to POST board). Issues like trashing others, respecting posters privacy and nothing illegal are important to us.
Eric NEVER tells others how to run their sites but for some reason people feel they have a RIGHT to tell him how to run his. Sad."
It was because of them I didn't even want to associate with Ex-Mormons for over 2 years. I have a very low opinion of Eric and Susan as they continued to let others run me down while not letting me defend myself. It finally took me getting filthy and disgusting in e-mails to them before they stopped that. They still act like Mormons there, they are self righteous, and look down on those who they think aren't worthy. They just no longer believe in the teachings of Mormonism. It's like being in high school again with the popular kids abusing those they think are less than they are. It is only out of politeness I don't state my true feelings towards them because the language would be too foul. There are Mormons I would rather be around more then them. If that6 isn't an insult, I don't know what is.
So, someone you do not know, that formed a first grade click, that is austrasizing(sp) others, is telling you something that you are interpreting as a bad definition of yourself. In your minds eye, just leave them, ...leave them all alone. You can leave them, however, they cannot leave the catalyst angst within them that is causing that to be their reality. That is what they are dealing from. Know of "your" goodness. I don't think that feeling anything towards them will have any effect on them , will weigh you down with chains of the mind, ...and they walk away. Like a cricket in a spiders web. Do not eneter their web. :)
Humans (you) are the greatest thing since sliced bread. There is no institution, no group, nothing (not in an arrogant way mind you) that should stand between you and your own self actualization and happiness. Giving to others, caring, smiling and knowing your worth by ...giving".. is important.
Your worth as an individual, your ability to give to others and your ability to receive their gifts is determined by... guess who, uhm, ... you. Even in a balanced theology (DAMNED not LDS) the whole thing has the individual as the central core and purpose of existance. Please, do not even look to others for your validations. For sp long others looked to Church (Borg) leaders for a decision that they were/are of value. The Borg uses that tool to move you from point "a" to any point "B" that benefits them first. If you get benefited then thats cool but they get theirs first. ...like an inconsiderate husband. You are good, you are of value, you are just fine as you are.
Know of your goodness, your value, your importance in a humble and happy way. Who can you smile at today, who can you open the door for and say "mornin', damned good ta see ya" :), Who can you just be nice to. To grow as a person, we give. That is why Salt Lake is so fucked up, they take, take, take every emotional and material thing you have. They give you their approval in return. Such a deal. It is sad the way they are. All you can do is walk away from them as "when shit hits the wall it splatters and can splatter onto you as well. :)
But you, via comparison and contrast, can see that you a great thing is daily developing. That great thing is the person with your name, it thinks, it,....dreams, has goals and has aspirations and desires. You have, like a bean sprout, great upward potential. :) See your potential and not the disparity of what "freakin strangers" think and what "they" tell you should be. It will always work to their favor because they control every aspect of the deck of cards.
You are a good person. Why? ...just because you damned well said you are!! :) Go out and do some good things today. You will be stark raving amazed at the great experiences you have! :)
We cannot change others, so why try. we can, tho, change, alter, mold...ourselves! :) HAHA! It feels so good to know that fact. I can, not "they can" but I can make myself into anything I want to be by my decisions. If we want a better life, make better decisions. we are a product of our decisions, and never a product of our enviornment.