Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by canadianjohnson on February 4, 2011 at 2:39pm

Just mailed my resignation letter a couple of days ago! It felt good! Stopped going to Church January of 2010 -when I started considering myself an Ex Mormon in my heart- thats what really counts right! ;) I didn't hold a position in the church. I wasn't good enough for that! lol 

 

What helped me to get out? I think learning about the Book of Mormon and about the fallibility of revelation were the two biggest things that started my journey. The Book of Abraham was the official end of my search to "know".

 

EDIT: kota11 thanks for your comment! You don't know how much it means to me to know that my videos are making a difference and helping people!!

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Permalink Reply by laurah11 on February 5, 2011 at 9:38am

Well, hello fellow Canadian!  I have to tell you, that, when the church started to unravel in my life I struggled with what to do with the information.  I had decided, in a lonely moment that I would just wait until my TBM parents died and then leave the church.  ( They are only in their 60's, and healthy as could be!) The thought of telling my family was unimaginable.  I had never personally known anyone to leave the church, and though I didn't believe in it anymore, my solution was to pretend  that I did believe, and attend church so that I didn't devastate my family with the news.  For some reason I was willing to sacrifice my happiness for theirs. 

And then a miracle happened in my life!  I came accross your website in December of 2010, and it literally gave me hope!  There were people there, just like me, and from my same part of the country even, that had told their families and left the church!  Canadianjohnson, I could never thank you enough!  I have told 3 of my 7 siblings, and one of my sisters visits your site regularly and has also been moved by the stories. 

Thank you!  I am almost free! lol

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Permalink Reply by canadianjohnson on February 5, 2011 at 2:00pm

Hurray! I was your miracle!! :)

 

Thanks for sharing, I am so glad to know the videos have been a strength to you! Is your sister still LDS then? I'm glad you are feeling more authentic in your life! I just want to give you a high five over the internet! lol

 

My hope is that these videos are strengthening so many more that I never hear about and that your story is one of many! 

 

Bye for now!

 

-Dan

 

PS I got a message from the website contact form that seemed like it might be you- did you write one me one day on the website?

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Permalink Reply by laurah11 on February 7, 2011 at 9:44pm

Hey Dan!

I'll take that high five!!!

Yes my sister is still LDS, and attending church every week, but she has been doing alot of reading and is seeing all the holes in mormonism- she's just trying to sort through the pieces and figure out what she really believe's and what is actually important to her.  

 

And yes, it was me that contacted you through the website to say thanks :)  I didn't realize that you were a part of this community as well.  I am pretty new to the ex mormon community and am figuring out that all of these support groups are connected!

 

Laura

 

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Permalink Reply by Don on February 4, 2011 at 2:54pm

when it hit me that the BOM was as true as  Mary Poppins...things started to change.  The Leaders knew this because they were the ones rewriting the history, issuing the cover ups, etc...  They did not care, they wanted the $$$.

 

Don

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Permalink Reply by Rodolfo on February 6, 2011 at 10:04pm

2 adults, four children, Spring, 2010

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Permalink Reply by MikeUtah on February 6, 2011 at 10:29pm

I'd love to hear the story behind your families exit.  Do you have it posted any where?

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Permalink Reply by Rodolfo on February 7, 2011 at 3:51pm

Actually no, we have discussed this at length but we haven't committed the story to paper yet!  It's probably about time we worked on it, thanks for inquiring.

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Permalink Reply by Don on February 7, 2011 at 7:40am

THE FAMILY IS THE BUILDING BLOCK OF SOCIETY.  We must remember this as we progress and grow as individuals.  Those of us that were LDS must assist the newer person leaving by assisting the entire family in leaving at the same time.  This makes the process of "UN" conversion easier.    If, after assisting the family in writing the letter and signing and mailing it, there are a few individuals that are still moving along, then send in the others letters to provide the motivation .  Have a small cake and soda party for them.  Go to the store, get some cake mix and icing,  brownies, whatever.  Make it as a family.  Enjoy it as a family and know that you are now taking, more like wresting, your family back from an alien organisation.

 

People are very "reactionary".  Just as we did when so many of us were Missionaries, we need to assist others along by making leaving a happy experience.  Some, sadly, have the mental image that all is intense and sad when you leave the LDS organisation.  Surround it with good things, game board nights, movie nights with a trip to "Redbox" (if they have them in your area) get somew jiffy pop and try not to burn it, and have a great time!

 

When I left the LDS Church my life got better the first day.  I noticed that the spirit did not swoosh the curtains to the ceiling as it left the room.  They had placed before me so much crap, and I was silly enough to eat the crap sandwich they gave me because I had been told that the taste was the sacrifice for the blessing.  The only one receiving a blessing was them  I believe and practice proactive positive planning.  I lay my clothes  out the day before, call today to confirm what I have to do tomorrow and the positive benefits (not blessings) are everywhere.  I get more done my noon than others get done all day.  Is that a blessing from God?  No, it is not supposed to be.  It is the benefit from planning. 

 

Plan the leaving implementation part.  Enjoy the positive letter writing, and mail the letters for the entire family.  Then get referrals from the new non members.  Who do they know that might benefit from learning what is really going on, how they are having a group psychosis, and how to regain control of their life.

 

The birth of becoming NON-LDS is an exciting experience.  Go to the "resign" section of www.lifeaftermormonism.net and click on the resign section.  Sit doewn and write your letter.  If you were EVER baptized, you need to write the letter to have that relationship dissolved.  It is quick, easy and the mailman delivers it.  Do it as a family.  You will be glad you did! :)

Don

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Permalink Reply by Mending on February 7, 2011 at 12:20pm

Brilliant.

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Permalink Reply by Jean Bodie on February 9, 2011 at 2:35pm

Hi fallen angel - you fell into a pool of clear, beautiful, clean, water; you are lucky and you can be the kind of angel YOU want to be now.

 

You can message me privately on here or FB or jean44@shaw.ca if you want to answer any questions.

1. Were you born in the covenant?
2. How old are you?
3. Married?
4. Why did you leave? A lot of people left over Prop 8.
5. Were you/are you shunned by former friends and family?
6. Do you have kids?
7. TBM spouse?
8. Work for Mormons?
9. Positions you served in.
10. Were you exed for apostasy because you no longer believed and spoke out?
11. Any other thing that might be helpful
12. There is a group putting together a book; a how to book for those with doubts or newly out, with member family etc. We will be using professionals where possibly on issues such as codependency etc. So if anyone else wants to offer support for this project please do; using those questions and any other.
13. We are looking for demographics too. Where do you live? What country? We want to be able to address the needs of all those who find themselves in these situations. Do you remember when you first started to discover the truths or first had doubts. Would it have been nice to have a how to book before you made mistakes or choices that turned out poorly for you or others. I wish that I had been more gentle with TBM spouse but was so heartbroken that the church I loved so much had been unfaithful, I just emptied all my pain and knowledge and poured it into him. That goodness he is a patient man. We are still together but many marriages break up. It would have been awesome if we had had ground rules and help at that point. Thanks to anyone who wants to offer support or information. I know that many of you offered more when you told when you left the church, but I didn't save it. Just the dates and what you were doing in the church at the time. AND if you had resigned.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Utley on February 14, 2011 at 9:01am

We were just sitting there in our home in the beautiful jungles of Belize, Central America, talking about our many blessings, when the brethren from the Church knocked on our door.  They'd come from our branch leadership and from as far away as El Salvador to challenge us about our membership in the Church.  Ironically, the two senior missionaries in our area had just stopped by and left.  They were grousing to us about all the problems they were facing in their labors caused by the horrid inefficiency of the Church in this small country.  Problems that had forced them to ask for their early release from their missions so they could go home and lick their wounds.  Problems that we had seen, as well, that had troubled us and, in part, forced our withdrawal of our allegiance to and interest in the Church.

 

The two brethren wanted to know why we had posted an inquiry at a well known polygamy site---Polygamy Now.  Nothing could have caught us more by surprise.  They had been sent by the mission president to check us out.  Our first reaction, until we caught our breaths, was . . . did the Church really have a "gestapo" and "narcs" that were out there rifling through the dissident web sights, checking up on members who were in rebellion or, as with us, merely asking hard questions.

 

Accordingly, we told them, that we were too far down the road to enlightenment to ever return to their fold and function as fully enfranchised members, staunch members, as we had before, for many decades.  "Please remove our names from the records of the Church," we told them, after the discussion had died.  We were very upbeat and, interestingly, so were they.  They could tell that we were not going to be persuaded by all the things we'd heard before, ad nauseum.  And so the deed was done.  There had been too many lies heaped on our heads.  Too much revised history.  Too much silliness in the name of salvation and survival on this planet.  I had been branch president.  My wife had been a youth leader and seminary teacher.  The possibility that we might begin to influence others in ways contrary to the party line of the Church weighed heavy on the brethren's minds---which frankly we never would have done.  One of the big problems of the Church is that everybody is always being a missionary.  "Now that you have learned the truth, go an drag others into your persuasion"---that sort of thing.  What they didn't know is that we weren't going to do that any more.  No more missionary work.  We weren't going to try to convince others that the Church wasn't true---which it is not.  We were going to be content to live and let live.  We had found the path we wanted to walk and that was sufficient.  We were willing to give up family and friends (which we ultimately did) for the truth that we had found.  Because the truth was sufficient in itself.  And the happiness we've found is sufficient.  And the amazing revelation that the spirit did not leave us because we had "rebelled" or apostatized, as the Church has always taught us that it would do, has led us into amazing discoveries---each bringing to us an element of happiness and adventure that has enriched our lives.

 

What an amazing discovery it was for us to discover that God is not a tyrant, but that he loves us in spite of the "human" ways we live our lives.  God is in favor of enlightenment and experience, not obedience or control.  I've since decided that no longer will I be able to worship any god that wants me to worship him.  I mean, why would I want to do that?  That person doesn't sound like a very nice person at all.  The voice of the spirit has told us very clearly, almost daily if we engage in the conversation, that God does not operate by fear or guilt or shame---hallmarks of the Mormon Church (although they deny it) and hallmarks of Christianity, as it is understood in the world today.  The real Christ was not that kind of person, and it is sometimes clear from the occasional truths that seep out between the lines in the Bible and the experiences of women and men.  Otherwise what we read is usually fabulous fiction, and we don't have much to do with it any more.  Although, we do like the nice people that may espouse the views of contemporary Christianity and the Mormon Church---when they will espouse us and give us the freedom to think what we will, without feeling they have to change us or beat us up.  Otherwise we would be very lonely.

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