Alright so after a few weeks of my cousin Hair bugging me to join I did. Thus i will add my story.
I'm honestly still a little on the fence. Not because i still believe, but because if i leave the church i leave my friend base. I dont have many friends outside the church, and the friends i have inside the church some are great friends while other people choose not to acknowledge your existence.
i've never been a popular guy. I always seemed to be the scape goat for being made fun of. Since i was in Cubs in my home ward, every week i was always being made fun of, into scouts, deacons, teachers, priests, outside of church doing sporting activities. It never ended. Eventually they grew out of it. It should be mentioned that it was never abusive. They were never beating me up, or anything, just being mean and unkind. They were reciprocating what had been done to them. Being that it was a cyclical thing, what goes around comes around. But i was happy for those years when they moved up. I was a smaller kid quiet kid too. Fast forward to now, i still feel as though I dont fit in. The friends i've got get in touch when they have time, but the friends i think i have talk to me when they have time. And as i said above, many dont acknowledge my existence. Its a two way street i know, but einstein said something to the effect of, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.
so here i am. Sick and tired of not fitting in, wanting to have genuine friends and feel included. I apologize if this was a little bit of a rant, but its my reason. I dont and wont waste my time with people who dont appreciate me, and who i am. I am weird. I love motorsports, and race go-karts in the summer. I didnt know anyone else before starting this who raced, or loved motorsports like i do. I'd almost rather worship motorsports. but who the hell is normal?! My uncle has mentioned to me, do not waste your time if your not getting your needs met. Move the hell on. so I'm trying, but its difficult to break the routine.
Feel free to comment, and suggest anything.
PS would someone tell me how the hell i can stop thinking of hymns to sing in my head!?!?
I'm 26. been in the same YSA ward since 18 and while hopping to others has helped i'm sick and tired of being myself, and not being accepted. So i'm gonna continue being myself, and join the religion of motorsports, coffee, a little booze now and again, and absolutely as much sex as i can haha.
Jeff, I am so curious ....... how are you now?
2 years on leaving, and couldnt be happier. I've gotten deeply interested in the cocktail culture of making exceptional drinks from scratch, and adding alcohol to liven them up.
Sexually, couldnt be happier. I've learned and enjoyed much with my GF who is NMO(?) im a little out of touch with the TLA's haha.
When I moved to ontario for a year, she flew out to visit me, where we had direct one on one time for around a week at a time. It was glorious exploring and having adventure. Around the time of your post Lori, I was in the process of moving back to Alberta and re-acclimatizing to home. Though I'm back to living with my parents while i save money...that sucks.
All in all no complains at all!