I could use some advice from some of you out there on how to deal with this one. My ex husband (who is a self-proclaimed Mormon who drinks, smokes, struggles with cocaine addiction, and has never been able to remain faithful to a partner), now wants to have my 9 year old daughter go through the lessons and be baptized because he thinks it is "the right thing to do". As I'm sure these situations usually are, there are any complexities to the situation which I don't want to bore all of you with.

Essentially, I don't want my daughter to be baptized but I also don't want to cause a world war in the family (for my daughter's sake). How do I know what is the right thing to do or the best way to handle the situation?

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Could you insist that she wait until she's 18, when she will be an adult and can make the decision for herself?
Make it clear to the Bishop in writing that as the paernt of the child that you do not give your authorization to be baptised.

Make it crystal clear, sign it and send it to him.

Don in Vegas
If he is already practicing another faith then for them to force him to join theirs would be a violation of his right to freedom of religion. In this case it could be properly caled freedom from religion.
My daughter is seven and I know when she is eight I will have the same problem. Let me know what you decide. I need advice as well.
Hey Cali - I just found another discussion on the same topic - no surprise I guess? I thought you might be interested in reading through it: http://www.exmormononline.net/forum/topics/turning-eight-maybe-isnt...
When my son was nearing eight yearsold, after pressure from his friends and his grandparents, I asked my son what he wanted to do. He said "be baptised". When I started the discussion about what baptism is, my son replied that since it isn't real, it doesn't matter anyway and it would make grandpa happy. So grandpa got the happy duty of baptizing his only grandson.

My son already knew the difference between right and wrong, truth and nonsense, and agreed in order to please his grandparents. It made no difference to him because it was for play, like any fairytale.
Thank you all for your suggestions - you've given me some great ideas to ponder on and it helps alot to hear stories of how others have dealt with the same situation.

Cali- I'll be sure to keep you posted on what goes down here! good luck to you!
What ever happens be sure to build a loving and trustful relationship with her as you will need it when she is a teen. If she takes the discussions make sure they do not teach more than twice a week. Once a week is better. You can talk to her about what she is being taught and go on the internet for answers and opinions. Be sure to look at both sides honistly. If she can not give a positive response to is the BOM true or is JS a prophet ,or will you pay tithing then she will not have a testimony and should not be baptized. But i would not put it past them to baptise her any way. Important, Stay calm,show love and concern, do not argue with your ex. As soon as one gets their back up they automatically loose.It is difficult to know what to say as we do not have all your info. Who has custidy and why. Are you a believer in some form of religion,agnostic,or athiest, etc.
Hi Don, thanks for that advise - very helpful. We have joint legal custody, I have physical custody and he has visitation. I am an agnostic - came from a non religious (although spiritual) family, was converted (and baptized by my ex husband) at the age of 18. His family is very acitve LDS although he is not and I know that the pressure is coming from his parents more than from him. His mother has already told my children that we will not all be together in heaven.

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