So I'm getting divorced. Yay me! FREEDOM!!!!
My ex was and still tries to be very controlling and emotionally abusive. we were also engaging in swinging while we were married and while I was making a plan to leave him, he decided I'd cheated (even tho he'd had sex with other people too).
Other things happened that led me to leave him in July.
My problem now is that he still tries to act like he has the priesthood. Our youngest son was sick a few weeks back and he insisted on coming over and giving him a blessing. This is total crap.
I don't believe in all this any longer but the fact that he is blatantly trying to say he was sin free and saying he can still use the priesthood really bothers me. He doesn't get to use that, he broke the rules too. I do not hold those powers sacred any longer, but lots of people still do and his hippocracy astounds me.
AND he keeps asking me if I want a temple divorce. First of all, I don't care. I will not be marrying in the mormon church again. However, he is trying to imply that I am the only sinner in the marriage, when in fact if he admitted to his bishop the sins he committed, I'm pretty sure he'd he ex'd or at least have disciplinary action taken.
Sounds like you're making some good changes for yourself, leaving your ex-spouse and the church at the same time. Good for you!
The priesthood has no power if you don't believe it in it or play along with the charade.
As for the temple divorce, I tried to get one when I got divorced but the church officials would not grant it for a host of lame reasons. I finally had my named removed from the records of the church since they would not cooperate. Since I am no longer a member, the temple marriage is invalid!!
Hang in there, it gets better with time, both the divorce and the life after mormonism!
Just my humble opinion here... To not officially leave any tie to or within the Mormon Church is to continue in an abusive relationship.
Get over the "sin" issue. Stop empowering an organisation that you do not participate in, want to be around, and that does not empower "YOU"! :) To bow to any organisation that does not lift you is a dumb action. You are not dumb. To say that you are free and to keep looking back over your shoulder for the permissions from a self sereving bastard source (LDS Church) is not productive. Don't reference them anymore than you reference the curb outside for points and issues in your life. To do otherwise reinforces your own slavery in every form.
You are free because you say you are, and not because some great Masa gives you permission to be so.
In regards to the hubby issue.... he is very confused. And it will not get better. Continue to have sex if you want to, however realize that you are not the only one he is having coitus with so he has to use a condom. This is not about love, but self serving. It is not bad as such, as we have sex because it feels great... to us as well as giving to the other person. Control is an issue with him as well as well. His control of you, his lack of control of himself, etc...
You determine what is right and wrong from a good and self aware heart. It is your life and your vagina. Do as you wish in a personally responsible fashion. To allow others, a Church, a person that is doing the same and blaming you (psychotic) is not, IMHO, a good and beneficial thing for an individual. Our lives are important.
Our lives are like slices of Bologna You start out with a large stick (ok, its a guy thing :) and as the days pass by, it is used up a slice at a time, until you get to the end, when you ask yourself "where did it all go". Do not et to the end of your life having served it in a servile fashion to others. You must, MUST have a return on your investment. It is, YOUR life. damnit, live it! :) You'll be dead one day. All the Saints and Novenas in heaven cannot give you back one minute you loose today, that you loose right now! Live your life right now!
Just mu humble opiion. My opinion and a quarter will get you five nickels. :)
Wow. Good thing you're getting divorced. He sounds like he thinks he gets to interpret all the rules, kind of like a sociopath. People who have sinned lose their priesthood authority if they're keeping their sin secret--according to the mythology, anyway. He's still just trying to exert whatever control he can over you and the kids. Annoying as hell, but at least you're moving forward with your life. Peace, love & chocolate!