As many of you have, I was born and raised into Mormonism. In a seemingly loving and happy family.  I knew the church and loved it, but ever since I was a child I had a constant sick feeling. Both anxiety and depression weighed on me as I came closer and closer to suicide. Both my parents and religion told me how evil gays were, but here I was a scared lonely gay child. I was also scared of the unknown. Scared of the hell they promised gays would go to. Everytime it snowed, everytime it rained fear engulfed my young mind thinking it was the second coming and god would shun me out to live in eternal hell. I drove deeper and deeper into the "closet" my father was an avid member of anti gay groups and also was the bishop of my church. This continued for years till I moved out. Still confused I continued into Mormonism and told the bishop of my situation. He immediately placed me in intensive hypnotic therapy. As the weeks and months passed suicide came more of a reality for me- the only way out. I started seriously thinking about it one day... On that day I layed down in my bed sobbing my eyes out. I turned on the TV to get it off of my mind...at least for a little while. As silly as it may seem when I turned it on a video of Lady GaGa came info focus. She talked about how she felt... Self love.... The importance of being yourself. After some more tears shed my self loathing too shed. Slowly pride in who I was formed. I realized my talents and abilities were all based on what I hated most. Without It I wouldn't be me. That week I skipped church, and the next week. I got into that pattern but was still scared to drop the Mormon title so I'd always say "inactive Mormon". After some time and google searches for lady gaga and other gay and ex Mormons I dropped the title. Cut off the bracelet I had worn since I was a kid, cut, straightened and dyed my hair, and through time and decreased stress and depression I lost 40 pounds.. That of course led to clothes shopping where I didn't have to fear about people finding out if I was gay. I was glad to finally let out ME. So now maybe I amt he guy with the crazy black hair with the purple streaks- or the silver painted nails, and a few tiny tattoos while hanging onto my wonderful "husband", but I am so so much happier now. The fear is gone, I've cut off negative people in my life, and I'm no longer a prisoner to my religion. I try to remain as open minded, kind, non prejudiced s
as I can. I'm glad I got to see the world through someone else's life in the beginning, but I'm so so glad to be out (in more way than one ;)

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Beautiful story! I'm glad you chose life and chose to get rid of the things weighing you down. It's not easy but it is so liberating! Hopefully your family will come around and accept you for who you are, but if not at least you are able to love yourself now! Good luck with this journey! 
Welcome Tyler!  Glad to have you among us.  Thanks for sharing your story.  I'm sure it will help others.  Congrats on escaping and becoming yourself!
The church along with other religious organizations and people like to make every issue regarding morals as if it is a black and white issue.  If the church says it is wrong, it is wrong.   I guess it is also wrong deny the plurality of wives because Brigham Young said it was.
What a moving story.  I'm glad you're feeling better about yourself now.

Way to go, Tyler!

Freedom to be yourself is priceless!!!!

The end of this story made me smile so much!  I'm so glad you're happier and healthier now, you're an inspiration!
Thanks for sharing Tyler!
Yep, the LDS church does do a mind trip with us fellow gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and heaven forbid, transsexuals.  My mission president sent me to therapy after my mission...via my home bishop.  I quickly said I was 'cured' so I wouldn't have to deal with this thing.  Anyways, glad you made it through.  Besides, life without us gays would be pretty damned boring.

Hey! I'm also a gay exmormon, and hopefully I'll be posting my exit story tomorrow. I also underwent hypno therapy and was exiled because of the way my heart works. I would love to talk to you about your hypno experiences, if you're comfortable. I know they still cause me pain...a lot...so if you're uncomfortable, I understand.

Hey Tyler,

 

Well Done, Im so happy and PROUD that you took that leap of faith. God doesnt care if your GAY/STRAIGHT/BI or whatever other labels people want to put on all of us. The church is a FUCKED up prision that wants to control us, and not let us have free choice.They think it cool to try and make us feel shitty about ourselves all the time, so we stay loyal, wheres the LOGIC in that. I hope you have a HAPPY LIFE, and dont ever let the MORMONS try and put crap on you again.

MOVE FORWARD and dont look back, Congrats.

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