This is the website I used for my letter of resignation: http://packham.n4m.org/leaving.htm
You send it to your bishop or stake president. I'm no longer on the records, and my parents have no idea. I decided I probably won't ever tell them, because there is no good reason to. They know I don't believe, but if they knew I removed my records (and cancelled my baptismal blessings and other covenants) it would break their heart. They don't need to know.
My story is similar to yours, LLL. I had questions as a teen, and some things just didn't make sense, but having been born in the church (5th generation) I didn't know anything else and stayed out of habit and the comfort of something familiar (though after I left home I didn't follow all the rules anymore). I also never wanted children, which made me pretty much a misfit in the mormon culture. It was through a childfree newsgroup that I found the ex-mormon mailing list, and it was a quick trip out after that. I officially resigned 3 years ago. Every relative I have still belongs and probably always will, but I still manage to have a good relationship with them all.
Hi all! I'm Chris from the UK, now living in Bangkok. I left the church in 2009 after particularly nasty marriage, that could only ever be compared to something out of a movie or soap opera, which was the final straw for me leaving the church. In the end it led to me being cut off from my family, friends (LDS friends) and everything I ever knew as a kid.
Although being raised in the church I always felt like a misfit. I never felt like I fit in with any of my non-LDS friends either.. I wouldn't say I was ever allowed to fit in with them, which I feel made me a little awkward socially having one foot in both worlds. I've always liked to ask questions and have quite a stubborn, non-conformist attitude which never did me any favours as an LDS member. So finding this website has been an amazing discovery, since there's probably no other group of people in the world who can understand me as a person, and what I've become.
Despite leaving the church and all the negative I've experienced, I'm honestly grateful for the good things I've been able to take from it and for my moral compass. I wouldn't be where I am today without having been a member of the LDS church. I'm still slowly adjusting to life outside the LDS church, but I'm loving the freedom, the experience and the awesome friendships I'm forging with people who like me for nothing more than the fact that I'm me.
I enjoyed your comment and understand your non hostil feelings about what you learned in the church. My name is Jeff and I am no longer a memeber, I served in Brazil and have 4 grown kids. I joined when I was 17 and left on my mission at 19. None of my family joined, and I enjoyed the feeling of acceptance at the time and was happy until a couple of years ago. I looked at myself and my non existant friends at church and said what the frock am I doing here. I don't like anyone I am not happy, and I don't make friends at work becasue I am mormon and can't do what they like doing so I put up walls that I was better then they. Anyway I am recapturing my youth. Hanging around a couple of young RM's from this mission who returned to raise some hell. We go to the bars on the weekends and talk all the trash about the women I didn't as a young RM. I am happier than I have been in years. My wife not so happy, my kids can't figure me out either. I can't figure me out sometimes. I raise my glass of beer to you, health and happiness to you. Your friend Jeff
Hi, I'm Kiley. I left the church shortly after I returned from my mission in Ulaanbaatar Mongolia back in January 2007. I left largely because of my mission experience. (which was technically a service mission since it was illegal to proselyte there. The Mongolian Gov let missionaries in to teach English and work with the clean water projects that the lds church, red cross and peace corps worked on.) And well, the deception was so thick you could cut through it. We were constantly told to work on loopholes for proselyting and to teach only the minimal amount of English we could get away with. Service projects were looked down upon as they took time away from finding converts, and I ended up fighting against most of the leadership while I was there which lead me to questioning the church and it's motives. When I came back my brother came out as gay and I realized that the church wasn't even on the same planet ethically with too many things. So I put in my letter in and called it quits.
I'm now working with multiple groups around the globe with clean water, housing and medical projects. I also work building computers. My family is still Mormon (except my brother and myself).
Kiley, thanks for the information about the service mission deception.
Hello. In a nutshell. I was born in the covenant. I come from a long line of converts from the U.K. I’m 45 and divorced after 25 years of marriage. I have 4 children, 3 who are not active or consider themselves mormons. My ex was a bishop/lawyer who has ocpd. He remarried Dec. 26th. Me, well, I’m moving onward and upward. Learning and growing..I feel as though I am the lucky one to have my eyes opened. Since I was a child...church...felt wrong. I went through the temple at 19 to be married. I was horrified....I saw all my family members doing weird things and thought to myself...”Oh my hell, we are a cult!” Here I am 25 years later listening to my heart.
Hello everyone! My name is Cathy and I left the church December 2011, a little over a year ago. I "investigated" (but not enough) the church 30 years ago and joined. My fiance joined too. We married and raised 3 kids to adulthood in the Mormon church. Over the years my husband shelved doubts and I remained true and faithful and staunch. One day last December 2011, I came home from my weekly temple trip and my husband showed me DNA facts that refute the BoM, anthropological research that refutes the BoM, info on the Book of Abraham and info about the Kinderhook plates. In a matter of minutes I was holding my head and sobbing on my knees. It threw me for a loop. I didn't see this coming. It has been a crazy wonderful year of joy and healing and reading and making new friends in a new life. I was raised in the Methodist church. I have returned to that. My husband was raised Pentacostal but has ancestors that were Methodist ministers. We feel comfortable embracing Biblical Christianity without religious rules.
Hello, I am the youngest of 7 sons of TBM parents, who are deceased. My eldest brother is the only TBM sibling. My older brothers influenced my decision to leave the church at 14 years of age. I am now 54, married to a non-believing Catholic. I first learned of the problems with The Morg in 1986 when I read the Tanner's book, "The Godmakers". Since the advent of the internet, I have learned sooo much more about the history of the Mormons, thanks to sites like this one. Our relatives still think my brothers and I will return to the fold one day. The internet pretty much ruined that dream of theirs...
Hey all, my name is Heather and I was a molly mormon till I was 19. My dad was bishop, my mom was relief society president, I went to BYU-Idaho, and my older brother went on a mission. We looked and acted like a family straight out of the New Era. I decided to leave when I started researching church history (reading "anti-mormon" websites like FAIR) and could not find suitable answers to the issues I had with polygamy and racism and double standards. My entire world was turned upside down. I resigned my membership in 2012, and my parents do not know, nor will they ever. I miss a lot of things about the church, I fit in perfectly and I miss the ward family feeling of closeness to everyone. I turned quite cynical for a while, and I suppose I'm not over that.
I am a million times happier than I was in the church. I was always feeling guilty and inadequate. Now I finally know who I am as a person. I am much more open-minded than if I had never had such a change of thought, and I can feel more empathy and understanding than I did. I've definitely learned a lot from being in the church but I am very glad I am done with it.
My name is Janis Hutchinson. I was a member of the church for 35 years, during which time I secretly joined a Fundamentalist group for a year, after which I left the church in 1980. I married in the temple to a returned missionary, served two Stake missions, served in all the organizations, but most of my time was spent teaching the Gospel Doctrine class. I also wrote articles for the Improvement Era (predecessor to the Ensign), excerpts of which were also used in the church's radio commercials on the family. Plagued with the emotional aftereffects of leaving the "only true church," with no one understanding what I (and others) were going through, I decided to write the book, "Out of the Cults and Into the Church: Understanding and encouraging ex-cultists" to describe these problems and how Christian can help. Later, I wrote "The Mormon Missionaries: An inside look at their real message and methods." Both books are available as e-books on Amazon, B&N and iTunes. I presently have a blog at wwwjanishutchinson.blogspot.com where I post articles, alternating between Mormon subjects and Christian-themed articles.
I enjoyed reading all your introductions, and agree with Trav, that I still carry the positive impact the church had on me, and am grateful for the church's emphasis on service, morals and standards.
Hello to all those free minds out there.
I'm David from Edinburgh ( that's in Scotland )
I'm 34, I grew up in LDS church here in Scotland from age 4 - 11 years old. My family left when I was 11.
I just realised this year that everything I was programmed to believed as a child has been controlling my life up until now, even though I haven't been to church since 1989. I still used to read some scripture, attended once or twice and basically unconsciously partly followed a mormon lifestyle out of the church
...until this year! - MY EYES WERE OPENED, this year I found undeniable proof that mormonism is all lies and built on a foundation of false history.
Since January 2012 I have been finding life very difficult, I don't know who I am, I have no coping strategies in my life. All I know is that I see the world very differently than when I believed in mormonism.
I've turned my attention to more scientific matters and I'm finding life really fantastic and exciting, but at the same time life has been hell. I feel depressed, miserable and very bi-polar. Suicide has become a very attractive prospect and I don't feel it is a sinful or sad subject anymore - It actually really excites me.
I really don't know who I am anymore and it is scary.
* any advice would be greatly appreciated