Been almost 5 years since I got my letter, even more years since I went inactive for the final time. For the most part I've moved on. I am no longer mad at the organization that had control of my life and thoughts. In fact, if I see missionaries I just ignore them now. I am glad I got out. My kids have the choices that I never did when I was their ages.
Today though, I am finding myself missing it. The people, the schedule we kept. The peaceful feelings from the music. Ironically, I hated going when I did. Never had tight-knitted relationships that you were supposed to have from the sisterhood. So why do I miss it today? I am so glad that I have that piece of paper that says I am no longer one of them, period, otherwise I know I'd be crawling back. Even though my faith is long gone...
thanks for listening.
I have days like that some times. Mormonism was a warm, familiar habit for many of us. It's okay to miss that sometimes.
I think the Mormon church gave us all a paint by numbers social world that made you feel a part of something really big and of great importance. The gratitude I feel for never having to sit through another sacrament meeting is so big that it overwhelms any moments like the one you described.
When you have these moments stop for a moment and realize that if not for leaving, you would never have met people like Micah, Marshall, Nathan, ew, Mark, mrperfect, Idaho Spud, and so on. I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are all really glad you choose to hang out with us instead.
Have a nice day and with this weather, it's a good day to be a little blue. It fits perfectly.
Your friend and evil nemisis Bar Kokhba