Hello everyone. 

I'm probably a bit of an anomaly on here.  I met Mikeutah and his lovely wife on an exmormon forum almost two years ago now, and we've kept in touch via email and Facebook since. 

I'm still active in the church.  Part of this is because I have a very strong Mormon heritage that I have close emotional ties to, part is because my husband and I moved in with my in-laws what is now two and a half years ago, and can't seem to quite get back out again.  I've had a lot of very strong emotional experiences tied to the church, but some others that don't mesh with current church beliefs. 

Being active, for me, though, does not mean that I agree with everything that is attached to current church dogma.  I would consider myself a feminist.  One of the strong changes in my recent beliefs has occurred due to reading Women and Authority, which I believe makes a fairly strong case for the church being meant to have equality between the priesthood brethren and relief society.  I also believe that there is decent evidence that women were encouraged for a long time to hold gifts of healing.

 We lived in the Bay Area in CA for everything surrounding Prop 8.  It was horrifying to watch my husband's family, who were holding together so tenuously, loose their relationship with my husband's brother and his partner over this, with horrible things being said on both sides.  It's led to a struggle for me.  I identify as bisexual, but hide that fact from those around me.  My husband, and some of my non-Mormon friends are supportive, but my parents assume that it means that I was sexually abused, while my MIL smugly asserts that it is a reaction to my parent's poor parenting.  I feel a lot of guilt for not speaking up, for letting those who can't "hide" the way I do be mocked and feared with no defense.  It bothers me intensely, but I have no easy answers. 

So...here I am, with strong ties to the church, able to bawl my eyes out when certain hymns are sung, or scriptures read, but in reality sort of limping along, becoming increasingly aware of the points where what I am told doesn't mesh with what Christ taught, or even Joseph Smith, for that matter.  I'm very aware that what I personally believe is often only alright if left unspoken, but so far it hasn't changed my feelings about core ideas of the church.

I might not be post Mormon, per say, but I look forward to listening, learning, and adding my own opinion!

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Good to hear from you Vasalissa. I had been wondering whether you were still living with the in-laws or not. Sorry to hear about the grief you often receive from naive family. I hope you all are able to break away soon. Take care!
It is a bold and powerful step we take when we diverge from the path set for us by our "heritage". It is kind of like we are looking down the tunnel of our life and saying, "no thanks, I don't really like that fate" and choosing to make a change. In this way, we take "fate" and turn it into our DESTINY.

For people who stay Mormon and follow their heritage to the grave, it is their fate. For those of us who take control of our lives and decide to live according to our own conscience, we have taken control of our destiny.
You will be a very plesant and good member of this group. You will have a lot of grreat experiences here. I went on amission, temple, BYU...andfeel that it was a waste of my time and years.

You will see many facets! :) Welxome to the group!!

DoninVegas
I also learned that I cannot type info with my laptop on my knee. It must be on the table. :) To may typos :(

Don in Vegas
Thank you for the welcome, everyone! Yep, Mike, still living with the in-laws. It's trying for multiple reasons, but the longer we go, the bigger the gap is between my personal faith, and theirs or my parent's. It's a little shocking to me that this in no way means that I'm irreligious. Quite the opposite; even as I grow more suspicious of church authority, I have been having an intense personal faith.

We're trying to do whatever we can to get our own home right now, for various reasons, and I look forward to a time when I'll be able to determine what exactly my own belief is without someone looking over my shoulder. It's been really interesting to come on here and see the wide variety of beliefs people are looking into.
Good luck on your journey, Vasalissa. Everyone's is different, for sure (that's why for me personally the mormon one size fits all "plan" just ultimately does not work at all) I'll look forward to hearing your opinions!

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