Getting Banned From Mormon Apologetic Forum And Postmormon Forum Is Like Deja Vue.

From the time I was very young, I have been beat on, had my locker in the public orphanage covered with threats that I was going to get my behind kicked etc. Of course, being a Mormon Citizen I did not think that the other Mormon Citizens, would consider doing anything so very anti-Christ. At first I thought that it was one of the bully boys from the football club, that I refused to associate with and date. It was strange knowing that there was a mob wanting to annihilate me, yet I was not sure who it, or they were. Was I nervous about the situation? Yes. Some of my "loser" Mormon Friends, had their lockers blown up, by one of the Cliques from The Mormon Social Club. Of course, this did not make the news, and was never allowed to be addressed, as if it had never happened.

I asked one of my Brother's friends to keep an eye on my locker when I left, to see if I could identify who the thugs were. I told him that it had to be some of the mean bullies from the football squad, or some one else that had not been pleased with my response, when I chose not to date him. Later in the day, my Brother's friend told me who was sending me these "Love" notes. It turned out that it was a group of Mormon females, including the daughter of a Bishop, who had been told to stay away from me, because I was a bad influence, coming from Garden City, which the Upper Crust from the Mormon Social Club referred to as Garbage City.

At first I was stunned. Then my heart sank. I had thought they were my friends. I had never done anything to them, except express myself and my view of the world. Perhaps they were offended that I had no desire to run to the parking lot at morning break to drink alcohol with them, which they had hidden in their cars. Or I cared more about my health, then to smoke cigarettes and smoke marijuana. I also thought it was uncalled for, when they disrespected and belittled those who were not of the same Social Club Church that they belonged to, or the way they snickered at and demeaned those who had less financially etc. then they did.

During lunch, a rather large group of them, both male and female, would sit at long tables in the cafeteria, that I called The Mormon Social Club Tables. Even though most of them were cordial with me, I knew...and they knew... that we were from different worlds. Most of the time, during lunch I either sat alone in the hallway, or with others who were not part of one of the little cliques, that are part of the bully infested social clubs, in schools. I did not think like them. They did not represent what I stood for, and they and their distorted doctrine or leaders, could never in reality ever stand in my place, in order that they could represent the Divine Being that is Me. Sadly, we could never be of one heart and mindset. Is it not so very obvious that we came here on different Spiritual Ships, and we will leave on different Spiritual Ships. They to a world, created with their ideals in mind, and me...back to My Own.

I have to say, that getting denied and shunned for expressing the various emotional lights of my Wholly Spirit is not a happy feeling. It is quite disheartening really. As is normal and natural, all individuals desire to have complimentary companions, advocates and friends. Like so many of the females from my Wholly Family, this is our main reason for choosing to have children of our own. No one truly desires to be alone, or to be lonely. Yet when one is not a complementary fit, to various cliques, such as the Mormon Social Club/Church, Mormon Apologetic Forum, and Post Mormon Forum, each encounter of censorship, banning, and having to be so very careful about everything that is in your justified nature to say and do, is quite exhausting, and no matter how small or large the group, the one who is not of the mindset of the Clique, is very alone.

 For me, these situations and many, many others I have been made part of, are like Deja Vu.. Each sad experience seems to feed on and enlarge the other in my mind, and the emotional and physical pain I experience, sends messages to my Wholly Spirit, wherein I we go again. Fortunately for each of us, our time in this atmosphere, is only so long, then we are gone, as if we had never arrived. These things and these people, are far away and behind us, like a bloody rag, that no longer has any use, and is thrown away and burned in the incinerator.

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It has been my experience that what we look for in the world is often what we find and that while we don't have control over everything that happens to us, we can look at ourselves and see if anything that has happened to us could be sourced back to something we put out there, perhaps reaping what we sow or at least perpetuating what we resist. I haven't known you long enough to say whether you have developed a strong victim identity or not, but I have sensed in this and other of your writings that you tend to always feel like you're being attacked.

In any forum that you visit, you have to consider both the mission and atmosphere being promoted. It doesn't surprise me that you were banned from MADB. I've nearly been banned myself due to their closed mindedness and censorship. However, being banned from Postmormon is more surprising. I know both the administrator of PostMormon and several of the moderators. Before they would make this decision, they would review whether your posts are keeping to the mission of the site, if they are making personal attacks or accusations, or outright offensive or trolling. I haven't reviewed the threads that you were banned for but if you still have access to them, you might review your words and see whether you were engaging in any of the above. As PostMormon and Life After Mormonism are recovery sites for ex-mormons, and your messages aren't entirely on topic, perhaps these communities are the best match for what you're trying to get feedback or validation on. Regardless, you're welcome to make a home for yourself here so long as you remain respectful of our community purpose and individuals.

Good luck to you,

Like you, my life is like a blank piece of paper, wherein every passer by leaves an imprint, for either negative, neutral or positive. These markings on our bodies, minds, spirits and souls penetrate to the very core of our being, whether we would like to accept this fact or not. I am not immune to torture and abuse, and neither are you.

Like one of my physicians and friend, from Cairo, Egypt...I too desire to know and understand that which is true. I do not look at the world, or at people, with a false worldly view and prejudiced eyes, hoping to see things the way that the vulgar mindset demands that I see, comprehend and accept.This would cause me to be ignorant and blinded to that which is actually happening in real time. Many years ago, I said to my friend, "Was it not so much simpler, when we had the naive intellect of a child, and did not see people, places and things as they really are?" His reply was, "I have always had a deep thirst for that and those who are true, and to see all things in their true light, regardless of how uncomfortable, or how much it will cause the groundwork and foundation to shake, from beneath my feet/beliefs/convictions." I was astounded to hear such beautiful words, come from someone other than my own self. I responded in surprise saying, "This has always been what I have desired as well."

As to whether, I have the "Whoa is me, the poor victim mentality" the answer is, I do not. When an individual chooses to ban, ignore, cast me out, lock me in jail, or an is merely a form of programmed... cause and effect. It is not that these individuals had to do these things, or that they were legally obligated to continue on with their actions, it was out of emotional protection of their obscene egos, that these things have all come about. Their unjustified position in the realm was challenged, therefore they became wroth. Their ego, being ill, could do nothing different then it has done. They have no virtue or moral presence about them, therefore the Divine Spirit of Centered Intelligence has left each of them, and they acted toward a different end, than the actions and results of a Sincere Being endowed, with virtue of character, and true harmonious balance. These actions expose each one of these individuals, and the level of intellect that they are using at their present level of enlightenment, or lack of enlightenment thereof. Does it make me sad to recognize the reality, that is the vast populace of this universe. Yes, immensely. It means, that beings in this atmosphere should not be allowed the enjoyment of the freedoms that they now have, and those who do deserve these unalienable rights, must be separated from the rest. It is a very, very hard bit of medicine to swallow. Unfortunately it has now become the bitter cup of reality, that has been passed on to me.
Thanks for your thoughts. They actually mirror many of my own.
Mike, I was having trouble with my computer, and I sent this message twice. Sorry.
No worries. I cleaned it up for you.
I echo your and your friend's sentiment, "I have always had a deep thirst for that and those who are true, and to see all things in their true light, regardless of how uncomfortable, or how much it will cause the groundwork and foundation to shake, from beneath my feet/beliefs/convictions." To this end I keep my beliefs ever fluid and changeable.
O.K. let me ask you this. Do you think that an individual has the right to commit moral suicide. For example, lets say that someone recognized that he or she is being used by a oneness mindset(From the many comes forth, the one true evil machine)that requires each one of them, to bow down and worship the mindset, laws and means of the One.

They must do things that they recognize as not being in their best moral and intellectual interest, and their very presence, life in this atmosphere, benefits that which is the enemy of their moral conscious awareness. Lets say that the moral understanding and ethical mindset of this individual is not like the many, the congregation, the congress, the establishment, the many that make up the one large unrealistic and void mindset. Should this individual have the right to leave. To make his or her way, in a better atmosphere, more in tune with his or her best moral intelligence and justified purpose? What do you feel about this concept?
Ok, this is really starting to freak me out! I noticed you just joined, so how can you talk about getting banned from postmo?
Suspicious Minds, I am sorry that something so essential, as a right to leave a toxic and bully infested place(earth) freaks you out. This entire concept is the most perfect and moral right that each of us have as Divine Beings. It is not a new idea, or concept, and individuals who recognize their duty to be in charge of their justified right to live a non corrupted life, have always been adherents of this doctrine, for they know that Mankind is meant to be free to be good, righteous, just and honorable, and not a captive of that which is wrong, unrighteous, unjust and dishonorable.

As far as Post Mormon Forum is concerned, I was banned from the website under a different name. I reapplied under Maiden Magnificent, at another address, but when I went to sign in, my I.P. is being rejected . Also, in case you have the idea that I am contemplating suicide because I have been rejected or have had my feeling hurt, the answer is no. Moral Suicide, is an actual ideal, that is taught to Roman Children, from a young age, in order that they may be prepared, in the event that they are captured by an enemy regime, and there is no other way out. Some children who are Roman Bloodline, instinctively have this concept safely tucked away within their Spiritual DNA.
If that is the choice they have made, then likely no one but themselves will be able to convince them otherwise. You can present info to them until you turn blue in the face but unless the individual chooses to honestly review it, you'll be wasting your time and energy. Of course the individual should have the right to leave, but only they can really enforce and choose that right.
Your words make me happy to see. Each of us must take the path, wherein we are enabled to live a moral, safe and justified life. If one can not find that place in this world, then they must be enabled to travel on, looking for another world, with a people and mindset more in tune with their own. This is true freedom. This concept terrifies most people, because they realize that a mass exodus, on the part of the captives, would end their enslavement of those whom they profess to love
I've learned this from both personal experience and through gaining an understanding of mind control, thought reform and slavery in the mind. As Aldous Huxley well stated:

"It is perfectly possible for a man to be out of prison, and yet not free - to be under no physical constraint and yet to be a psychological captive, compelled to think, feel and act as the representatives of the national state, or of some private interest within the nation, wants him to think, feel and act.
"The nature of psychological compulsion is such that those who act under constraint remain under the impression that they are acting on their own initiative. The victim of mind-manipulation does not know that he is a victim. To him the walls of his prison are invisible, and he believes himself to be free. That he is not free is apparent only to other people. His servitude is strictly objective."

Until one makes the conscious choice to think for themselves, they will never be truly free.


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