i imagine one day mormonism will be so far behind in my life that i will not care for it anymore, no more spending hours on the bloggernacle, no more searching in google "lds" news to see if there is any strange thng happening to the GAs. No more Glenn Beck, no more Podcast listening, no more back of my mind thinking and comparing "what will the mormon me do in this situation"..........

I need to know if it is possible.

Do you think that former mormons can leave it really behind or is like a disease we carry always with us?

Is it healthy to know we cannot erae it or is possible to "deprogram ourselves"?


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(i intended to reply to you these lines lol)

thanks your comment, i am happy to say i am no longer a mormon because being a mormon was not me!. I like the point you make, of being one self, a PERSON, not a mormon. Mormonism tries to define people, and then freedom is cutted and free agency lost, despite the Church evangelization on the subject.

I like being ME, i am happier, less stressed, I listen more and i value life, love and happiness with a real perspective of enjooying the present.


Time and other activities allow us to put mormonism into perspective.  Just like getting overly involved in an unhealthy group or relationship, we can put it into perspective.  Do I still get irritated?  Oh yeah, I really do.  But the only one suffering for that is me, so I might as well use as much energy as possible to be happy, if that state exists long term.

right, why bother on the unpleasant for too long?

i guess it will be like Art, some is ugly and is made to be ugly to produce a rejection,

some is beautiful and is made to imagine we can hold that beauty forever

Mormonism is  the first kind for me now


Hi BCandfree.

Let me share with you that you can leave it behind about as easily as a cancer survivor can leave cancer behind. Everything that happens TO us becomes part OF us, hence the 12 step programs like AA have people say they ARE an alcoholic even if they've been dry for years.


The key is in how you look at it, deal with it, and ultimately view yourself in light of what happened. I was LDS for 31 years, and have been out for around 20, so I'm pretty well versed on both sides of the fence and new to neither.


Over time I came to realize there were some "good things" taught me in the LDS church. The difference is in the why it was taught. For example, when I was LDS we were taught to do a family home evening. There's nothing inherently wrong with setting aside special time each week with your family. But the LDS reasoning failed when "do you do family home evening" became a measure of personal worthiness before deity.


Helping your neighbor is a great idea! But when it's a tool to try and get people to join your religion, it's simply not the way Christ taught. Not to be preachy, but Mr. J taught that you should love your neighbor as yourself- not love your neighbor so he'll believe the same way you do.


There's probably any number of things thatare good that we all gleaned from Mormonism. And these things are worth adjusting, fine tuning to fit who we are now, and retaining. As you meander through your new freedom, you'll find that many people, not just Mormons, practice the above things- and others- but for different, more practical, reasons.


As to the hurtful things, well, time heals wounds and gives us a new perspective. It helped me to ask myself: If I were a dyed in the wool faithful to the end, never forsaking Joseph Smith kind of gal today, would I do what the people I left behind in Mormonism did to me?


When I got really honest, I answered yes, and that helped me to not grow angry or carry any hatred around.


One of the things that also helped me was to look for things to laugh about. Recently I was talking to a small group of people at church who wondered how I survived. I told them: after eating Jello-salad all my life, I guess I was so gelatinous I couldn't help but be preserved!


I can almost hear the tears through laughter here. And I had many of those moments. I still have them, just not as often.


Another thing, as your wings spread and you fly, you will find that things you thought the lds church had the corner on, they were not alone in. For example, "Americas Choir" isn't so unique. There are many wonderful, quality religious and non-religious based choirs out there. Aw heck, the Turtle Creek Chorale in Dallas, TX, all men, all gay, can sing as well (if not better) than the mens section of the MTC (not Missionary Training Center).


So in answer to your question- rather than trying to forget it all, seek to find another outlook, perspective and even application for those things "Mormon"or, as we were so often told in Primary: When Life hands you lemons, make lemonade!


I hope this helps.

I don't know if it is ever possible to completely leave until the people around you stop trying to keep you in or get you back. And as long as people in the church are convinced that you *need* the church for happiness or salvation, that is not going to happen.


I go home to a TBM household everyday. My DW and DC have lives that revolve around the church, and I was part of imposing that on my kids at one time, and for that I am sorry. But now that I'm done with it, they feel it is their duty to convince me to repent and come back. I have told my DW many times that I want to have a relationship with my children without the shroud of Mormonism coating everything.


And to make things worse, all I hear at home now is "Jimmer". Its as if he has made the church so much truer.


Resistance may be futile, but you still don't have to be assimilated.

what is Jimmer
helps, another outlook is what most of the replies are aiming too, i also thought of that, my DW that is with me in this boat is what keeps telling me, I was VERY indoctrinated, damn it!!! lol

When you look them in the eye and tell them "no thank you" perhaps they will listen. Be calm and remind them that you have the right to make your own decisions without their well intentioned harassment. Ask them politely to stop at once. If they are as advanced as they think they are, they will respect your wishes.


If tey do not relent, be more politely forceful and tel them that you do not appreciate the actions.  write a letter to the Bishop, ccing the Stake President and the Salt Lake informing them that they are interfering with your happy family.  It depends on how serious they are and how much you stand your ground. 



i am not planning on letting them in, believe me, thx for the comment
it is definitely something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. PTSD i was sooo happy and i loved it sooo much i am still in a shock and it has been a very very very long time

I think i wil lpost another forum about PTSD

i will buy you coffee, wine or beer, lol

i agree on education makes the difference, i think also rational thinking, the ability to know you can go out of the box and see reality beyond bias... I wil cehck your blog

thanks for the comment


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