BYU-I Bans Coke Bottles, Not for why You Might Think

In an update to the BYU-I Honor Code released December 9th, Coca Cola bottles have been banned from all campus property, but not because of the caffeine present in the popular beverage. From the honor code:

"Due to the curvy, suggestive nature of the classic Coca Cola bottles, all Coke containers are banned from BYU-I campus property and buildings. The bottles have been reported as generating sinful thoughts by some staff members and students alike. Violation of this code may result in, but not limited to suspension from BYU-I and/or revocation of tenure, diplomas and degrees."

As you can see, the code has been clearly written and set to take affect 1/1/2012. One staff member, who wishes to remain anonymous, commented, "though I will miss my beloved wake up juice, I can understand the need to preserve clean minds for staff and students. Sinful thoughts distract from the mission and purpose of this school."

Tags: BYU-I, caffeine, coke, cola, funny

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Permalink Reply by fancypants on December 9, 2011 at 11:13am

This is a joke right?

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Permalink Reply by MikeUtah on December 9, 2011 at 11:14am

Yes, my attempt at parody

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Permalink Reply by Mimosa on December 9, 2011 at 11:13am

Ha ha...only in Provo. To be fair bananas, cucumbers and zuccinis must be labeled as the devil's "tools" as well. Or just open a sex toy shop in campus and save everyone a whole lot of frustration already.

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Permalink Reply by AThinker on December 10, 2011 at 10:40pm

o.O But..... but..... those things are fun to eat :/

Two of my cousins go to school at the BYU near SLC. What would happen if I walked on campus with a Pepsi bottle? Seeing how they said COKE, wouldn't that be considered a loophole?

Also, Whats going to happen to the water bottles? They're shaped just like them~