I am starting to think of sex education as I would gun education. Imagine that everyone is issued a gun when they hit puberty, without any sort of qualifications or screening as to who is or isn't issued this lethal weapon. They all get a gun.
The abstinence only approach would teach them that the only way to avoid misfiring this weapon(unplanned pregnancy), or damaging it(STDs) is to never use it. Don't pull it out until you've joined the marriage shooters club etc. However, the gun cannot be confiscated or taken away from the teen to prevent them from using it. It will always be with them.
The contraceptive and condom approach teaches them the same first lesson as abstinence only (only 100% safety method is not to use it), but ads to it additional lessons of how to use the gun in a safe manner, so that it doesn't misfire and permanently alter the life course of one or more individuals, or protect if from gun diseases that can also permanently alter someone's life.
Now add to this scenario an environment which portrays and encourages gun activism everywhere the teens look. Enticing gun action is flashed on TV, movies, music and the radio. Never has a using a gun been made to appear more alluring and satisfying.
Further add the raging hormones flooding many a teens body with desires to remove their gun from its holster and go target practicing with their girl/boy-friend.
It is also worth mentioning the reverse psychology affect of telling people not to use guns just making them that much more taboo and alluring.
This isn't to lesson or remove the responsibility of teens to act responsibly and protect their weapon from harm, or from harming others. Misfiring a loaded weapon is serious business and can alter one or more lives in a serious way. But what if it didn't have to be a choice between accidental misfires, or abstaining from gun use.
Why can't the choice be both approaches? Why not teach abstaining from gun use as the surest method to avoid misfires and gun damage, but also teach proper gun control and gun safety for those who are more inclined to be gun handlers? Does not this latter approach result in a society with fewer broken homes due to misfires and gun damage? Fewer needs for secret adoptions and broken hearted teen mothers who's baby has been manipulated away from her? What about more opportunity for forgiveness and restitution due to proper gun handling avoiding the more damaging aspects of misfires and gun disease?
In this light, I would argue that abstinence only gun education actually promotes social ills as a way to punish those who can't control their weapon according to ignorant expectations. Which then is the more forgiving and loving approach? Which then is a more comprehensive education respecting the rights of teens to understand the weapon they were endowed with at puberty? In which approach would you feel that you and your family is safer from the very real damage and life altering consequences of misfires and gun disease attributed to ignorance? Who would you trust your daughter with more on her sweet 16: A teen with a gun that may not know how to use it safely and is mostly hoping he can keep it from falling out of its holster to avoid danger, or a teen who has been taught to respect his gun such that he will control it both in the holster, and safely outside the holster should the occasion progress to that conclusion.
Kids are going to shoot their gun! They are going to do it at every opportunity they are given or can have. People who are to lazy to reach over and find the tv remote will walk through the burning desert sands to "shoot their gun". So, tell them aout abstinence knowing they will probably not be so, but they need to understand it to round out their knowledge. They also need to know about condoms. You cook at home and know about pot holders, you drive a car and so not ight matches around the gas pumps... let the logic at least be consistent. Tell them bout condoms and how to put one on and use the hell out of it, ...properly. The sex drive is a primal drive and can be routed, but not stopped.
Teach our kids to not be ashamed of the sex drive, respect it, and if they are going to use it, use it properly. Gay or straight, this routing is a fundamental need for your success and the success of our kids.
Or, you can raise their kids for them. You decide.
Agree with the teach our kids to not be ashamed of the sex drive, respect it and they are going to use it, use it properly .....
Ohhhhh yes!!! Men have a huge lecture about how masturbation is wrong and a serious sin in the eyes of the lord. It actually upset me when I was a youth because the first couple times I masturbated were completely natural and I had no knowledge that I was doing it, and since it felt good I kept doing it and couldn't stop. After that I realized that I wasn't hurting anyone else by doing this and I knew I wasn't going to like rape somebody or something, and since I'm asexual my arousals come from unrealistic fantasies pretty much many which have absolutely nothing to do with intercourse.
However, they won't let you get a temple reccommend or get ordained to a higher priesthood authority if you aren't living the law of chastity, and yes many times they do ask you if you are abstaining for all masturbation. I see it as whether or not you look at pornography which is still up for debate on whether that is okay or not, your arousals will be there and the tension will not go away just because you don't masturbate, it will just go unrelieved and sometimes get worse. I said this on other LDS sites sometimes and they got all on my case saying I was just an unworthy member with no self control. However, others have said they masturbated while they were teens, but after they got married they went to the bishop and repented, go figure....
There is even this one speech geared towards young men discribing the private areas of our body like little factories that are meant for producing children only inside of marriage, and if we are not married we should keep our factories closed and not do anything to arouse them outside of marriage, and think about something else if we feel that our factory wants to open before it is ready... or something like that...
Why don't LDS leaders give talks about and interviews to the girls about masterbation?
Since they don't, is it OK?
Why does LDS leadership have such a hangup on masterbation and pornography? The way some church leaders define pornography is scary "any good looking girl is walking pornography" is how one Stake President described it in a talk I listened to a few years back.
And people listen to and believe these crazies?
Shakespear said it quite well wen he shared "me thinks thou doest protest to much"....
Hey, I never had a problem with Masturbation. I got it right every time ! :) Don't they have anything better to do that delve into others private and personal lives. Once they have been there thaey have more control that they should have. Can everyone say "Jim Jones style mind control! I don;t care if others act normal in this fashion and masturbate.
Just wash your hands and don't you dare say "finger lickin' good"! I'll get sick fast! :) Have fun and DO masturbate a few times every day if ya want to. It is your life.
Don, Yes, I said it! So what. :)
why doesn't someone even tell you how to masterbate when you're a young girl. Oh wait, that would make sense! And making sense would be sinning, essentially.
Actually, these are very good comments.....
Sexuality has always been a waging ground for religion.... The reality is sexuality is part of our make up and controlling it the way certain churches do bring disaster but letting people use it whenever and wherever is also a disaster because it reduces people to sex object, does not make them responsible and create a society with many woes such as single parents, STD's and worse viruses, broken hearts, broken families.
While we should not view sex as a vile part of our humanity since it is not, we must be responsible and safe about it ...
I have my idea on the subject having lived in both end of the spectrum societies .......
The mormon approach of marrying as soon as back from a mission is in my view dangerous ..... though i am for the long term marriage commitment ... and, from very bad experience, i find much value in the chastity part ...it allows us to meet different people and know them as people prior to engaging into sexual activity that blurs our judgment.
I still think we have to mix with different people and be friends with them in order to get to know them and the day we fidn the right one ..... commit for life a
Speaking as a teenager, I can say that we will want sex... there is no way to change that. Telling youth that this want is wrong and a sin is possibly the most damaging thing they do to youth. The only thing worse is telling them that if you cannot convert someone they are useless to you. The only thing with the contraceptive approach that i have trouble with is that buying condoms can be quite embarassing for guys.
That would be embarrasing. Do you know someone older who could buy them for you?